I awoke this morning thinking of our profession, and the journey we’ve chosen. There is not a career anywhere, I believe, that promotes such growth and diversity as the creative field. We’re constantly stretching ourselves, and learning life lessons from the experience. The reward system we face is different from the norm, we actually do our craft free for many years in some instances because, well, we must.
The author photo above is of Helen Hoover Santmyer. Years ago when my husband and I were raising our little family, I grabbed a book on library day with my girls. Standing in the small aisle, I flipped to the back and that was my first glimpse of Helen. I smiled, and my throat clogged. I’d held my dreams so tightly most days, it’s a wonder they could breathe. I jotted my stories after the girls went to bed, and awoke to life as mom and wife. What was the shelf life for dreams, I wondered? I was very happy, but this niggling inside kept urging me to just start. Little did I know my path would be a long one, but something designed just for me.
It would be many years later that I’d glimpse my first book cover, and smile that same smile. And yes, my throat tightened, and I looked at it through a blurry haze. It was so beautiful, and it meant the world to me.
Helen was 88 yrs old when, AND LADIES OF THE CLUB, was published. It stayed on the N.Y. list for eight months. It was her first novel in 50 years, her previous ones published in 1925, and 1929. I loved this woman’s spirit the first time I laid eyes on her. It spoke of determination and a zest for life. Those are my heroes, the writers who persevere no matter how long it takes. I never had a deadline for publication in my mind. I knew if it was meant to be, it would happen. Sure, I got frustrated, angry at myself mostly, and wondered if I was clutching a gossamer dream of my own making. Luckily, over the years my perception changed, and I saw the world differently. Patience wasn’t there to punish me, its purpose was to help me grow. We don’t fight anymore I’m happy to say.
So, whenever I feel challenged along the way, I glimpse Helen’s photo and smile again. Everyone needs a touchstone, and I guess she’s it. There’s many women I’ve met along the way, and I’m always thrilled to hear new stories, and realize publication isn’t just for a select few. Writers come in all shapes and sizes and I say, Hallelu! I’ll be 53 when I hold my book in my hands for the first time. All I know is I’m grateful, delighted, and more determined than ever to be the writer I was meant to be.
Do you have any stories of perseverance, or amazing women you’ve met along the way you’d care to share? I’d love to hear your stories…
Wow, LaDonna! I just did a blog earlier this week regarding expiration dates on dreams – comparing them to Twinkies or a carton of milk. I guess great minds think alike.
I have a contribution regarding someone who didn’t let go of her dream. A local woman who, after raising a family and seeing her grandchild grow, took the LSAT’s and entered Syracuse Law School. Locals familiar with the campus know that the school sits high atop a hill, which is a real bitch during our crappy Siberian winters. Anyway, this woman obtained her law degree. She was 83.
So, I think of her whenever my dreams seem out of reach. She climbed that summit (one can’t drive to it)and fulfilled her life long dream.
Hey, Kathy, thanks for the contribution here. I love hearing these stories. They’re meant to be shared, I believe. And too funny about the expiration date comment. Cool how those ideas float around and land on certain noggins at the same time.
The story you shared reminded me of one of our locals. Her name’s Billy and she arrived at the church picnic on a jet-ski! She’s 90-some and healthy as a horse. She doesn’t go to the doctor, and she has a shot of whiskey every night…just to calm down after a day of fun, she said. Gotta love these spirited women. She’s my hero too.
I like your phrase “What was the shelf life for dreams”. There is no shelf life if you are determined enough and persevere.
Love the picture of Helen. That is a photo of determination. Good for her. Can’t think of any stories off hand, but if I do, I’ll drop back in.
Seems to me that your own journey is a good example.
Liz, I knew you’d love Helen!
And you’re right, no shelf life required for dreams.
Great blog, LaDonna! Your story inspires me as much as Helen’s. I’ve probably been writing as long as you, and my dreams still aren’t expired.
Thanks, Edie! Your story inspires me too, so between all of us those dreams can soar!
LaDonna, do you think if I start downing a shot every night, an agent will pick me up? lol If nothing else, the booze might extend my shelf life – like a great preserve, or jar of pickles.
You’re probably going to slap me for this, but there was a guy in my master’s degree class who decided to go back to school. He was 59. Now at the time, we younglings considered that old and thought “why bother?” But when he walked across that stage, toting his summa cum laude tassle, he became an inspiration to all of us whipper snappers.
Great blog, LaDonna. I know that Mary Wesley, who writes amazing books, sold her first book in her 70s. A few of them are TAMING PEACOCKS, CAMOMILE LAWN, PART OF THE FURNITURE.
Like everyone else here, I don’t think there is a expiry date on dreams
.
At the Reno National Conference we met Golden Herring. She had just got published…..at 90+ She had wrote a semi-authobiographical about her years in motion pictures (she started in the silent films). She was so fun, and full of life. She made it seem possible at any age. Dreams last a lifetime.
Marcia, me slap you? Never!
At least you “whipper snappers” were inspired when he got his diploma. Lesson enough, and what a cool story!
Michelle, thanks for sharing Mary’s story. I’ll have to check those titles out. Also, love the 70′s thing. A quote from Helen Santmyer is, “Time…our youth…it never really goes, does it? It’s all held in our minds.” I love that.
Jill, I love the name Golden Herring!
Thanks for sharing. Wish I’d been there too, worth the cost of admission IMO. And you’re right, dreams last a lifetime.
Kathy, a shot of “fire” at night can’t hurt!
Beautiful story. It reminds me that we keep our most precious dreams close to our hearts, no matter how much time may pass.
Cynthia, I agree. You nailed it with, “keeping our dreams close to our hearts, no matter the time.” Time spent following a dream isn’t ever wasted, is it?
LaDonna,
Love that picture.
And I don’t think dreams ever expire. In fact, I think you’re more likely to try to grab hold of them the older you get. Maybe because you can look back and think of all the time you wasted, not trying?
One of the women in my local crit group is in her late seventies. She published her first short story at seventy-two. She’s working on her fourth or fifth for publication now. She’s also decided she wants to try her hand at a romance, so she’s deep into that. She’ll be the first to tell you that dreams don’t fade as you get older, they gain strength and start demanding things of you.
So many people spend so much time complaining about all the problems of the writing industry, but to me the publishing journey is a microcosm of “The American Dream” in that, there is always an opportunity for a new voice and tomorrow it might be yours.
But one of the wonderful things about writing, unlike many other careers is there is no age cap on it. Like with any industry there is always some ageism. We live in a culture that worships youth and beauty to such bizarre extremes I don’t think any of our psyches are getting out unscathed, but you could be on the New York Times Bestseller list when you’re 88.
And I’m not sure there are many industries inside or outside of entertainment that can boast of that.
This is kind of off topic and I hope it’s okay to share it. But it’s regarding expiration dates because I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, though not as much in regards to writing because I already made peace with the idea of no age cap on writing.
There are two things that drive me. Writing and Dance. I’ve been dancing on and off most of my life and within the past few years I’ve taken up Bellydance. There sadly IS a major age cap on ballerinas and jazz dancers (Though las vegas showgirls often dance into their 40′s) There is precious little in the way of performance venues for most ballerinas past age 25.
I don’t want to become a bellydance superstar or anything
But I like to perform. I’m 28 and re-starting dance after a year hiatus from it and was a bit paranoid about my age. Not because 28 is old. It’s young even for a bellydancer. It’s just that anytime you find your passion you ask yourself: “how long can I viably do this?” I finally was satisfied that I could perform in some venue theoretically up to age 50, lol.
Sorry, that was long and insane and a little off topic but it’s part of the whole dreams/passions/age cap/expiration date thing and I just thought it was interesting that I was thinking about this same thing around the time others were.
Theresa, I love what you said about dreams gaining strength and demanding things of you. So true. And thanks for sharing that story. There’s so many beautiful ones out there that need to be shared.
Zoe, thank you so much for sharing your dreams! I love dance too, just basic shaking my booty thing when I hear a good song. Bravo for you, and I love bellydancing. It’s such a beautiful way to express music and yourself. Stay true to that voice. You have two dreams, and enough desire to capture them both. Keep us posted!
Thanks Ladonna I will.
Have you ever taken a vellydance class? Even if you don’t wish to perform it’s a fabulous art form and you’ll be amazed the way your body can move lol.
Zoe, I NEED to take belly dancing classes. I want abs of steel, and have abs of marshmellows! LOL. You’ve inpsired me to maybe pick up a instructional DVD. hehe
Hey Ladonna!
Bellydance instructional videos can be great: If I might suggest a couple that are really fantastic for the beginner:
Amira’s Bellydance 101: very basic good instruction for the beginner. Can get it on amazon.
Another really great one:
Learn Lavish Layers with Ansuya
these are both only available used on amazon, and are a bit pricey but definitely worth it. Also anything featuring Rachel Brice is good and Neena and Veena aren’t bad. I would stay away from Dolphina few in the bellydance community respect her, she’s like the “I dream of jeanie” of bellydance. And you won’t get solid instruction there.
I would really recommend taking a live class. No matter where you live unless you live in a cave
there are likely bellydance classes near you. A live class IMO provides so much more than videos, including friendships and Haflas. Haflas are Bellydancer parties for bellydancers. They are sometimes opened to the public as a recital type thing but very often a hafla is a party only for bellydancers and often there is food and socializing and people come in costume and there are live drummers so you can dance. They, in a word, totally rock. Okay that was two words.
If you are self conscious about any part of your body, don’t be. You don’t have to reveal your belly in class if you don’t want, and there are women of all shapes, sizes and ages in a bellydance class.
Also, bellydance gives you a really sexy “belly pooch” even if you have a flat stomach. (one of course has to practice and eat right as with all fitness regimens) I love that because I hate overly defined abs on a woman. What happens in bellydance, due to the movements the muscle develops “out” instead of “in.” and so you end up with these really cut obliques and a flat tummy but with a little “pooch” that it’s clear is muscle, not fat. I think it’s very sexy and feminine.
Anyway sorry this was so psychotically long and rambly, I just get excited at the prospect of anyone being introduced to bellydance. It will literally change your life. If you, or anyone else reading this wants to take this discussion offlist, my email is: zoe_winters@yahoo.com
Let me know what happens.
Thanks, Zoe! You just never know how many future bellydancers you’ve inspired here.
If it comes to pass, I’ll definetly let you know. And thanks for all the great info on the subject.
You’re welcome!
It’s sad that our society doesn’t have a strong dance culture. Dancing is so natural and a part of everybody’s everyday lives in many cultures that it’s sad when it’s so rare in people’s lives here. I think all women should at least try it once. 
Then if they hate it they can blame zoe. 