A Magical welcome to my fabulous stand-in, Natasha Fondren, aka Spyscribbler. Natasha has written 15 novellas and uncounted short stories under a pen name, and in her spare time she’s writing her breakout spy thriller. She’s also a pianist and a piano teacher, as you’ll see in today’s blog. Enjoy. 
In teaching an art (piano) to kids and adults, I’ve acquired a few soapboxes. It’s no easy thing to learn an art!
Learning an art is at your own pace–unlike in a structured classroom where you see what you’re supposed to learn and when you’re supposed to learn it–you’ll always be riding the edge of what you can do and what you have not yet learned to do. It’s scary!
In piano, even adults who have amazing careers at the top of their professions struggle to find the mental skills to negotiate the doubts and insecurities that set in when faced with that edge.
The first struggle is learning to practice. With the pace of life today, it’s no easy feat to find time to sit and write every day! As if that weren’t bad enough, guess what happens when we don’t find the time?
We hear the voices of those wise authors who say, “You must find time to sit down every day if you want to make this a profession,” and “If you love it enough, you’ll make the time.”
So when we miss a day? The guilt sets in.
Guilt is like a cancer, because once guilt hits, it spreads. Pretty soon, every time you pass the computer, you cringe and think “I should be writing!” It’s not long after that when every time you think of writing, you cringe and think, “I really need to be writing!”
More guilt.
Maybe I don’t love it enough. Maybe I’m not meant to do this. If I truly loved it, it would be easy to sit down every day. I’d want to sit down every day. Maybe I can’t do it.
With all those uncomfortable feelings surrounding writing, guess what happens? You avoid thinking of it. You avoid it completely. Eventually, some quit. (It’s funny how after some quit, some suddenly feel like they can breathe, so they start writing again, just for fun. And then they sell, LOL.)
Sometimes, we just need to give ourselves a break, give ourselves permission to write “just for fun.”
Yes, of course, you want to practice every day. But this practice is not a feat that’s going to happen the first day you decide to write. There will be phases of lots of writing, phases of no writing at all, phases of just thinking about writing, even phases of feeling guilty.
Not writing for a day, a week, a month, does not mean you don’t love it enough. Really. Just trust yourself. Know that you’ll get back to it. If you didn’t want to write, all those feelings wouldn’t be swirling around it, right?
Those under deadline have different demons. Why am I not enjoying this? When’s the last time I had fun writing? What’s wrong with me, why do I not feel like sitting down today? Why do I feel like I’m just pounding out words? Why can Author X write with four kids and I can’t seem to find the time with two? Why can Author Y seemingly write 30,000 words a day with six kids, a husband, and two day jobs, and I can’t? And this story sucks!
Human beings start becoming adults around age ten and eleven. Seriously. All the self-doubts and insecurities take root. Before that age, most children believe that if an adult says they can do it, then they can.
Adults know better.
How do you know if you can do it or not? Sometimes life forces you into a place where you have no choice. I question whether I would have found my writing practice otherwise. My evil doubt-voice says that if I were really meant to write, I should’ve been able to find it without that pressure. I should be able to just write without a deadline like all those other authors–
You just gotta tell those voices to shut up.
If you’re not faced with life-or-death feelings, then how do you navigate it? If you’re my piano student, I would say trust me (even though I know that’s not good enough for adults, LOL). But what you do today, tomorrow, next week, and after that, will add up. You will progress, even if you can’t see it.
Practice is like growing. You grow so slowly, you can’t tell that you’re growing except when you have growing pains, when it hurts. Once in awhile you’ll “suddenly” realize your shoes are too small.
Every single word your write, every single letter you write will take you one step closer to where you’re going.
One day, you’ll sit down and realize: it doesn’t matter how you feel. It doesn’t matter what you’re worried about, what you fear you may not be able to do. All those little voices of self-doubt and guilt and worries? They’re just weird little things whose perspectives are WAY OFF.
Let them have their say, nod and smile so you don’t have to engage them in conversation, and then let them go.
Just sit down. Just write. When you don’t write, forgive yourself and forget about it. Sit down tomorrow and write. The progress, the achievement, the deadline, the story, and all the rest will just take care of itself.
Natasha, thank you for joining us today, and for your great post. I feel like you peeked into my mind. (And that’s a scary thought.) Some days I start by bleeding out the pages, word by word. Then without realizing it, I can’t type fast enough to keep up with the sentences and paragraphs in my mind. And when I go to bed, I feel so good about what I wrote, I fall asleep with a smile.
I’m in a critique group with writers who have contracts, lots of them, and are writing 20 pages a day for months. These are women with lives besides writing–children, husbands, pets. So when I’m plugging along, I do sometimes think I’m not doing enough. I have to tell myself that their journeys are not mine, and mine isn’t theirs. I’m like the ant instead of the hare.
Words of wisdom, Natasha. The last few days I’ve struggled with two scenes. The reason is I can see them so clearly, I actually wish I could paint, and the words on paper weren’t measuring up. So I wrote about two pages a day, and felt guilty about it, but I know that’s how it goes sometimes. As long as we chip away, a sentence at a time, we eventually get over the stumbling block and move forward.
Great blog, Natasha! I’m nodding here, and agreeing with you and Edie.
I think the main thing is just to sit down, make it a habit, and eventually the words will meet you. I heard somewhere that if you wait for the “mood” to strike, good luck. Maybe it’s the process of intention that gets us there. You show up faithfully, and inspiration notices.
I learned something new about you today too. I took piano lessons for years, and my mom loved to play the piano too. Thanks for the warm memory!
Wow, Michelle, I got a good chill reading your reply. So true.
Oh, Edie, I love it when that can’t-type-fast-enough thing happens! I just had one of those days yesterday. Anyways, ants get a heck of a lot done, haven’t you heard? And thanks for the welcome!
Michelle, I wish I could paint, too! Not for your reason, but just because it would be a cool talent. Two pages a day is nothing to sneeze at. That’s two books a year. When I’m chipping away, it’s letter by letter at a hundred words a day! I hope your scenes go well for you today!
Another musician! That’s awesome, LaDonna. I didn’t know that about you! And I think you’re right about the inspiration. At least, I hope so, because off I go to write!
*waves at Natasha*
WONDERFUL post. Thank you–I really needed to hear this today.
You are SO right!!
This is an excellent post! So glad I was directed this way. I’ve never thought to consider writing like practicing piano (which I did for 10 years!) but it is in fact extremely similar. IT is about discipline. And I love that she said even though we don’t see our practice we are getting better. That is wonderful advice.
A wonderful post, Natasha. As I read it I was thinking, “It doesn’t seem to get better after you’ve quote ‘made it’ unquote.” Self-doubt, a struggle to keep going, the worries that you’re wasting your time, that you’ll never achieve “whatever it is you want to achieve” are still right there. I wonder if they ever go away.
So keep on writing, I guess.
I gave up listening to my conscience a long time ago. Stomped on that little begger until it begged for mercy. If I feel like writing, I write. If I feel like reading a book, I read a book. If I feel like sitting there contemplating my navel … well, no … I never do that. Too many other things to take care of first.
Sure there’s guilt upon occasion … especially when my crit partners are cranking out chapters every week.
I feel like a slacker if I don’t try to keep up. However, those moments don’t last long. I get over it and totter along at my own pace. Funny how the book eventually gets done. 
Y’know what, Natasha? I HATE Blogger. I went over to your site and tried to post a comment (in every way conceivable) and it will not take it. I’ve had this problem with other Blogger sites and although I really want to comment, I cannot.
Anyone else have this problem?
Okay, tried one last time at your site and went in as “anonymous”. Finally got in to post. Grrr.
Hey Rhonda! *waving back*
Ello, very cool! So many musicians. That’s cool! I’ve always wondered if there’s something about rhythm, music and writing that relate.
Thanks, Mark! I don’t know. I don’t think so. I think the older we get, the more self-doubts we get.
Love it, Liz! Stomp, stomp, stomp! That voice can be pretty darn discouraging. I tell my students to laugh at it, but I think I’m going to take your advice, and tell them to stomp on it!
(And so sorry about blogger! I keep meaning to set up my website “for real” with Expression Enging, but … time … I need more time!)
Natasha, Liz can be mean. Shutting up those doubt monsters isn’t enough for her, she kills them.
Liz, I couldn’t comment on Amy Knupp’s blog, and she has Word Press. Her captcha hates me.
Excellent post, Natasha. I’ve posted before about the Doubt-Monster. Turns out, you’re right, you have to feed it to make it grown. Ignore it, and it withers away and dies.
I now write when I want and for how long I want. I mean, I might as well enjoy it. If I ever do get that contract, the days of leisurely writing will come to a screeching halt.
Hey, Spy, great post. All so true. Guilt is one of those things people drag around without realizing it. It’s so easy to just set it down and walk away from. The difficult part for so many is making the decision to set it down. No guilt over not feeling guilty allowed!
If you let your conscience dictate your writing, you’re going to bind yourself up. I’m vicious with those doubt monsters.
Wonderful post! Genius and wisdom.
I’ve been struggling as of late with the same issues: guilt, envy, frustration…
And now I’m just letting it go and having fun at the page. Thanks.
The Doubt-Monster! I have to use that phrase, Avery. It’s perfect! Doubt and guilt are such difficult enemies …
You’re so right, Karin, about people not realizing it. Even when it’s crippling!
I love your viciousness, Liz!
Yes, do, Jeremy! Like Karin said, sometimes just acknowledging them makes it easier to get rid of them.
Edie, LaDonna, Liz, Michelle … thanks a million for having me today!
Spy,
A wonderful post. I found myself nodding through the entire thing, and I know nothing about playing the piano.
I discovered a while back that if I force myself to sit down and write, but allow myself to write crap (well on the first draft anyway) then something loosens inside me and gives my creativity free reign. If i try to be too perfect that first time around i stifle myself.
I also know though, that i have to force myself into a schedule. Without one I’ll waste weeks even months on nothing. There’s a fine line though, between putting too much preasure on yourself, or not enough!