When Love Doesn’t Work
September 26th, 2008 by LaDonna
I watched BECOMING JANE last night, so if you want to watch it and haven’t this blog might be a spoiler. As lovely as this historical drama was, there was a point as a viewer where I mourned. I could think of a thousand ways for Jane and her Tom to be together. Neither of them had wealth, but Tom lives under the whims of an overbearing, idiotic uncle. The couple fall in love despite all of this, and when I think they’re going to find happiness the house of cards falls. Jane finds out he has family obligations and needs to marry a titled lady. So in the end, she’s the noble one. Although the ending is bittersweet, and I thought her life as a literary genius was very enjoyable, part of me is going, “Please wait, Jane, think about what you’re doing!”
My thoughts were swirling around and I was thinking, Jane can sell her novels, Tom can work as a lawyer in another city, the siblings can pitch in and get jobs, and they can all make it work out. They might not be rich, but they’d be wealthy in love. Bottom line, you simply don’t throw love away. You just don’t.
I can think of numerous times in life and novels where love didn’t work out, and I was okay with it. There might have been outside factors, personality clashes, unforgivable wrongs in the mix. The problem for me is that I saw in my mind this could work. As far as HEA goes, I’m a big girl. But for me, if there’s a solution, a way clear for love I Want it. In life, I know too each heartache, each piece of our lives that doesn’t fit the puzzle will eventually bring richness to our creative work like Jane. And it’s beautiful when pain can be transformed into beauty that way.
Any thoughts or examples where a HEA could work, but wasn’t given? I really don’t mind the tragic ending, I just want to know that there’s no possible way to solve the issue. And since this was based on facts, not fiction, it wasn’t my choice to make…it was Jane’s. Very different from a novel. One thing, though, I can’t forget the movie. It’ll always be bittersweet to me, and it was lovely.
25 Responses to “When Love Doesn’t Work”
I wouldn’t like the ending either. It seems to me they didn’t care enough, or they would have gone for it. It’s a weak passion.
I’ve said this before, but I hated the ending of The Departed. It was the worst ending I’ve seen and ruined what would have been an otherwise great movie. I’m still pissed when I think about it.
“Weak passion,” is a perfect way to put it. It flamed high, but never spread. I never watched the Departed, and it’s probably a good thing.
I loved the Thorn Birds, and we all know how that ended. But at least Ralph and Meggie had their moments where love did win. And it was enough for me.
The time period for Becoming Jane said a lot too. I would’ve have followed societies’s rules very well, I fear.
The ending that “sort of” comes to mind is the Devil Wears Prada. I was dragged into this movie, which turned out better than I thought. I can’t recall exactly how it ended or who said what to whom, so I’m going with he broke up with her. Anyway, I remember thinking as the credits started to roll, “That’s a stupid ending. You mean that little wuss is punking out on his woman because he thinks he won’t be able to keep up with her? Girlfriend, you’re better off without dead weight.”
I watched “Becoming Jane” and I absolutely loved it … bittersweet ending and all. I think it helped shape Jane Austen into the woman she became.
There has been books and movies where the ending left me with the “huh, you gotta be kidding me?” moment, but for whatever reason, I cannot bring them to mind. The main reason I read romance is because I’m guaranteed that HEA moment. I feel cheated otherwise.
Hey Marcia, love the dead weight comment!
It’s been a while since I watched Prada too, and I don’t remember exactly what happened. But, I didn’t mourn, so I must’ve felt the same way as you.
I guess we really do remember the bittersweet like Becoming Jane, don’t we?
I’ve never seen the movie ‘Becoming Jane’, but as a student of history, he had no other choice. Unfortunately in England, social class and family obligation ruled above all things, including the heart. To go against that, would have ruined him, most likely for life. Made for very unhappy ruling cast, too. Which has given us great ideas for stories! Of course if it was fiction, it would have been different.
That is why we write the happily ever after, because in real life, it doesn’t always turn out that way,(and sometimes in the movies, also). It’s what created romance in the first place and the HEA.
Yeah, Liz, I’m still thinking about the movie. My daughter and I were discussing the very thing you pointed out. Jane turned her pain into something beautiful, and we all benefited from her work.
Guess I felt cheated, but since it’s real life the raw truth is what we got. I just wanted love to work for Jane.
Lee, love how you explained it!
The creation of the HEA is our way of making it right!
Wasn’t society rigid everywhere else too? My favorite stories are the ones you mentioned, where the women and men break the rules and make it work. I feel better now…thanks!
Lee beat me to the punch, but I’ll add this: in order to keep with the reality of the time period, a story needs to stay true to form otherwise it’ll be hard to swallow.
Every decade has had its norms, including social class, religion, race and political beliefs. Stranger than fiction, right?
Stranger than fiction is right! Like the world we live in now. If it gets anymore bizzare, I’ll think it’s a bad dream.
It was a great movie! I just watched it maybe two weeks ago. I would have preferred a happy ending, too, but it was also a great lesson in how to make an unhappy ending satisfying, you know?
I loved that he named his first daughter Jane. That was a great touch.
And in our current situation, DH and I talk about this a lot. We have bills to pay, so we have to do this awful separation work thing. And it’s only for one more year. We’re saving up for a lifestyle change that’s very important to us.
But I gotta tell you, I’d rather be sleeping in the same bed as him every night than most anything in the world. The cost is too high, way too high.
(Edie, I hated the ending of Departed. It was so ridiculous that at the last kill, I just laughed out loud in the theater. It just got to a point.
Whatever you do, don’t go see Burn After Reading unless you feel like having a movie to make fun of. It stopped being a comedy halfway through. I don’t know what it was. It had no point, and it wasn’t funny. It was just tragic. But they meant it to be funny.)
Ah Spy, your sleeping comment touched me so. I know what you mean about sleeping next to one another, and I hope time passes quickly so you can have that again.
And I totally get the, “unhappy ending, satisfying” comment too. This movie haunts me still, in a bittersweet way. Maybe I feel more emotions since it was real. And I agree, naming his daughter Jane said volumes. That made it okay for me, or at least bearable.
So true. And he was a hard character to like. Didn’t they do that well, too? Somehow, it worked. I don’t know how. You make me want to go watch the movie again. I told myself I wouldn’t because it made me cry, LOL!
LaDonna, maybe if we clicked our heels together it’ll be just as you said, a bad, bad, dream. Oh gosh! I just realized how much today’s top names in politics have with the Scarecrow…;)
How much they HAVE IN COMMON with the Scarecrow. Shoot, if only I had two good eyes.
They did to the male character well, Spy. Now, I’ll have to watch it again, to see how they did it. We’ll both being watching it again.
Love the Netflix!
Kathy, at least the scarecrow got a brain in the end!
I like the weak passion comment too. Good one, Edie.
LaD I have not seen the movie but now plan to. As far as Departed, I saw the original Chinese version and had my shock then. I was crazy to think an American director would give us Americans our HEA, but when it didn’t happen and my husband nearly had a coronary on the spot I just nodded. For me in hindsight there was no other ending. Had we gotten what we expected the story would not have had the impact that it did. There was a lot of buzz about the movie because of the shocking ending. And while y’all know I am the ultimate HEA queen, for me, the ending in Departed (Internal Affairs is the Chinese version and very well done) was the only way it could have ended.
And since I realize my wussiness is not a good thing, in that I tend to stay away from graphic unpleasant stuff, I have forced myself to watch movies and read books outside of my comfort zone. I feel like if I stay in my own happy little world I may be stunting my growth.
Too funny about your wuzziness, Karin!
Raising hand, me too. And I love shaking the reading up. 
I couldn’t afford to stunt my growth either, or I’d be a midget!
LaD, a movie with an unhappy ending that still was so satisfying was Miss Potter. I really loved that movie.
I haven’t seen Becoming Jane, but I definitely will.
As for movies that left me scratching my head, Falling Down comes to mind, YEARS after I saw it. That movie could have been so good, WAS so good, right to the end, and then the director wussed out and made him a psychopath, instead of the voice of Everyman. Another movie whose ending still has the ability to made me annoyed is Miss Smilla’s Sense of Snow (based on the book Miss Smilla’s Feeling for Snow, by Peter Hoeg, one of my favorite books). They somehow cast the dark, chilling villian from the book as a very unlikely hero at the end.
I agree with you. I always see these movies where there is some kind of arranged marriage or family won’t approve or whatever and I’m thinking: “Holy crap, just LEAVE THE COUNTRY.” Run away, go somewhere else, be together.
I don’t believe in sacrificing love on the altar of propriety or the opinions of others.
Michelle, I thought of Miss Potter while writing this too. I’ll always be grateful you passed the title on to me. I loved it, so much.
I need to buy that movie.
I haven’t seen Miss Smilla’s Sense of Snow, but remember when it was so popular on the reading list. And was Michael Douglas in Falling Down?
Hey Zoe, that’s all I thought when I saw where the movie was going. Once they started their journey to elope, I wouldn’t have turned back…ever. Propriety be damned!
I could picture them in the Ireland countryside!
LaD, I think Michael Douglas might have been in Falling Down. What a great comment on society that movie could have been.