Today I’m writing a blog about emotions, so I’m HAPPY that Zoe Winters’ short story, THE SAFER LIFE, is a finalist this week in The Better Sex Erotic Fiction Contest. Voting already started. I read the entries and hers is the best! All the details are on her blog. Congratulations, Zoe!
Now on to my blog. At Margie’s Lawson’s Milwaukee workshop on Nov. 1st, she told us the online Nonverbal Dictionary had shut down. Afterward, there was a big discussion about this on the WisRWA loop.
I was reminded of this a couple nights ago. I planned on writing but turned on the History Channel for a few minutes, and ended up watching a fascinating program about body language. Body and voice language experts looked at videos of everyday people, celebrities and politicians — including Barack Obama and John McCain. Freezing the frames, they talked about what the expressions meant, the posture, the voices, the ‘tell’.
The ‘tell’ is a person’s facial expression a second or two before he or she says something. It’s what they really feel. According to the experts, there’s a progression to reactions: they feel, they think and then they talk. And what they say might be different from what they feel. If you want the truth, look for the ‘tell’. For instance, they freeze-framed the ‘tell’ of Arnold Schwarzeneggar just before he apologized for his bad behavior toward women in the past. His ‘tell’ was a look of rage. In that frozen snarl, it was easy to see he was furious at having to apologize. It only lasted an instant, too fast to notice unless you were watching closely. But wow! When I think of it, I shiver.
After the show, I reserved two body language books from my library. But I don’t know whether they’ll be helpful. As I write, I often use body language sentences like: “His brows slashed together.” “She straightened her spine and jutted her chin.” “Her mouth tightened, her nose pinched.”
That gives us a picture of the character, but it’s not as good as this line from HIS CAPTIVE by Diana Cosby: “As she continued to stare at him, a scowl carved the man’s strong-boned face, an expression unwelcoming as it was dangerous.”
Or this line from WISH YOU WERE HERE by Lani Diane Rich: “He swallowed, and she could see the tension and anger in his eyes for a second, but only a second, then his strong lean-on-me expression returned and he smiled down at her.”
Aren’t those great? That’s body language with a writer’s touch. My hero in my American Title V book, DEAD PEOPLE, is a songwriter, and I use a lot of vocal cues to show his emotion. Here’s a short one: “Her uncertainties and unhappiness quivered in her voice and showed in her haunted eyes.”
Do you know an author who’s great at showing emotion? Do you have an example from one of your books to share with us?
A quick note to tell you I’ll be at Zoe Winter’s blog tomorrow and on Saturday, I’ll be at The Bradford Bunch. Stop by if you get a chance and say hi!
Good morning Edie,
Loved your post. Writing emotion is one of my favorite things to do. I’m humbled that you’d use one of my lines as your example. Wow!
As you mentioned, the natural progression is feeling-action-speech. When writing, to give your line the most impact, ensure that you adjust your feeling, action and speech into this sentence order.
You mentioned Margie Lawson, she’s an amazing and gifted teacher. I’ve had the pleasure of taking several on-line classes and one in-person. All were awesome!
Lucinda Schroder [spelling?] does an absolutely fabulous on-line class about body language. A great ‘exercise’ to write about body language and how it equates to story was passed to me by Laurin Wittig, an amazing writer. If you’re sitting in a parking lot, from the time you see someone exit their car until they step inside the store, by looking at them, their expression, the way they walk, come up with a mini background/story for why they’re there. It’s totally cool and inspires your muse.
Thanks for the neat blog. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
Diana Cosby
http://www.dianacosby.com
His Captive/Alexander MacGruder
His Woman/December 08/Duncan MacGruder – 4 star Romantic Times review!
Oh, I love body language. I used to just go to the mall and sit and watch people–the way they walked, their expressions. Kinda sounds creepy now, doesn’t it? But it was part of an assignment I had in one of my non-verbal communication classes (back in the day).
Something I’ve been thinking about trying now…when I write, I tend to mimic whatever expression my character has so that I can feel the pull of the facial muscles. Well, I just got a brand spanking new laptop, and it has a web cam built in. I may try recording myself writing one day just so I can see what my insanity looks like–and to make sure I’m getting the expressions right.
Congratulations to you and to Zoe–I so happy that ladies I know are having such great success!
Diana, I found other examples from HIS CAPTIVE I could have used, too. And that’s just in the early pages. You are so good at this!
I strive to put more emotion in my books. I think that’s what lifted my last couple books to another level. Margie’s class is a huge help!
I’ll take Lucinda’s class the next time I see it offered. Thanks for the recommendation.
Edie Ramer
I strive to put more emotion in my books. I think that’s what lifted my last couple books to another level. Margie’s class is a huge help!
~Emotion makes a world of difference. I look at how we write, structure our sentences as emotionally guiding our readers to achieve the most emotional impact.
I’ll take Lucinda’s class the next time I see it offered. Thanks for the recommendation.
~My kids were so totally busted after I took this class. As you said, once you learn how to ‘read’ a person’s reactions/expression, they don’t even need to talk – you know the answer.
Diana Cosby
http://www.dianacosby.com
His Captive/Alexander MacGruder
His Woman/December 08/Duncan MacGruder – 4 star Romantic Times review!
I just got a brand spanking new laptop, and it has a web cam built in.
Cindy, filming your expressions is a great idea! It makes me almost want my computer to … Uh, nothing. I love my computer. I didn’t say a word about breaking. Didn’t even think it!
The next time I’m waiting for hubby at a store or in a parking lot, I’ll people watch and imagine what they’re feeling by their expressions.
I look at how we write, structure our sentences as emotionally guiding our readers to achieve the most emotional impact.
That’s what Margie’s class taught us! I love the part. At our chapter meeting on Saturday, we played with first sentences. Everyone was backloading theirs.
I don’t have kids at home, just a husband now. I already tell him “I see the look on your face.” It drives him crazy. After I take Lucinda’s class, I’ll really nail him!
Thanks for the shout out, Edie!
Zoe, I hope you win!
Me too, Edie, but I’m going to be nervous about it all week. I know the numbers are in my favor “right now” but a lot can happen in a whole week of voting!
Edie, you touched on my absolute favorite topic! Without emotion, a book is flat. I write character-driven novels, and I love that they seem to mesh deeply with emotions. I feel my books, instead of write.
Hey, I could say, “I feel books for a living” one day.
My favorite books are those I react physically to, whenever I read a certain passage. That dip in your stomach, or the tightened throat when you’re close to tears, or laugh out loud fun. If I feel a book, you can bet I’ll pick up another by that author.
Super blog as always, Edie! And congrats Zoe, I’m off to vote!
Zoe, I know what you mean! The first few days were the worst. Now I’m pretty Zen about it.
Thanks, LaDonna!
Edie, ah, to be zen. I’m kind of “anti-zen” hahaha. Which doesn’t mean I’m like morally against it, but I’m like literally if you look up anti-zen in the dictionary, there is my picture. So anyone having a hard time understanding the concept of zen can just go: “OH! The opposite of Zoe, I gotcha!”
Hey, I could say, “I feel books for a living” one day.
LaD, love that! I knew you were an emotion girl. Like me!
Zoe, anti-Zen is too much angsting for me. I’d rather focus on the good stuff.
Eh, I’m just anal retentive hahaha. Control. Freak.
I think I’m a weird mix. I definitely have that Pollyanna vibe in there somewhere, cause if I didn’t, I surely wouldn’t be focusing so much effort into writing fiction, hahaha!
But then there is that realist side that knows I can’t rely on “luck” to make things happen.
Wish I would have seen that episode on the History Channel. That sounds fascinating.
That’s something I have to strive for … more precise body language. I’m with you regarding the expression thing. It’s just not enough.
Good luck, Zoe. I’m pullin’ for ya.
Thanks, Liz!
I do know an author who I felt did great emotion, but like many of my favorite authors, her contract was dropped. (At least she got three books pubbed, but still…)
Anyway, back in my employed years I learned how to read facial expressions (I think it was in a mediation training course). My favorite was determining if a person was a big liar. Their eyes always shifted to the left first, and then around the room.
Uh, I just voted, Zoe. You have a HUGE lead. Congrats
Hey Liz, thanks! I know, but I still worry. If people get complacent and stop voting, one of the other two will beat me.
I swear I’m way too neurotic for this! hahaha.
Zoe I hopped on over and voted for you! You have a nice lead. Good luck!
Edie great post. Hubby relied heavily on correctly reading body language in his job. Many reads are obvious but there are those oh so subtle ones I love to use.
Thanks, Karin! My lead was a little higher. I’m worrying about it slipping away all week. I’m insane, way way too insane for this, hahaha!
Zoe, we’re all weird. We have people talking inside our heads!
Liz, if I see it on the History channel again, I’ll let you know.
Kath, I wonder if that author published again under a different name. That happens all the time.
I’ve heard liars look to the left. It pays to watch people’s expressions closely.
Karin, I think we automatically use those “oh so subtle” reads with our husbands and children. You’d think after that our characters would be a snap, but it’s not easy. I love it when it works, though.
hehehe Edie, that makes me feel better.
I LOVE body language. It tells us so much more than what comes out of a character’s mouth. That’s what makes it so interesting.
As for an emotional line, I came across a very cool one last night during my revisions, but I can’t find it. All I remember is thinking to myself, “There’s no way you can leave that in your manuscript. Your editor will fall out of her chair.”
Of course…I left it in anyway.
Zoe, you’re surrounded by weird people. In fact I may write a book called WEIRD PEOPLE someday.
I LOVE body language. It tells us so much more than what comes out of a character’s mouth.
Marcia, I especially love it when a character says something completely different than his body language or from her internal thoughts. My favorite kind of dialogue.
When you find the line that will make your editor fall out of her chair, please share.
hehehe it will sell like Hot Cakes edie!
“I see weird people.”
Zoe, that would be a great first line! I said the title in fun, but as soon as I typed it, I liked it. I really will use it in my DEAD PEOPLE sequel. And I’ll use the line too.
YAY!
Zoe, I voted for you. I was really impressed with your entry, great writing!
Thank you Michelle, I appreciate it!