The Gift of Giving
December 8th, 2008 by Liz Kreger
First of all, I want to announce the winner of Carrie Lofty’s giveaway of her book What a Scoundral Wants. The lucky commenter is “Bobbi”. Bobbi, can you get hold of me at liz@lizkreger.com and I’ll see that you get a copy of Carrie’s book. Congratulations!
And now … onto my blog …
With this holiday season upon us, I started thinking about the many gifts we give and receive. I’m not talking about the physical Christmas or Holiday gifts that are exchanged this time of year, but rather the gift of time that we share. Whether its spending time with family and friends, doing little favors for loved ones or co-workers, or you yourself allowing someone to do something for you. Don’t know about you but I have a hard time accepting favors or letting someone else do something for me that I’m more than capable to doing myself. But I’m learning.
I find that authors are particularly generous with their time and experience. You ask any loop for the most obscure bit of information and BANG, the answer is there … usually within minutes. You ask for advice about a publisher and/or agent and its sure to appear in short order. You ask your crit partners to drop everything to go over something that you have a request for, and they don’t even hesitate.
This gift of time is precious. We all know how busy writers are. Its hard to squeeze in time for our day job (if you have one), our families and our own busy lives, much less for other writers, yet I see this time and again. At conferences, writers share information, advice and help you network without blinking an eye, despite the fact that you are basically their competition.
Don’t get me wrong. There will always be writers or wanna be writers who will basically waste your time. Doesn’t matter what you tell them or what pearls of wisdom you part with, they will never really listen because you’re not telling them what they want to hear. Fortunately, these people are few and far between. They seem to get weeded out fairly early in the game.
So the next time someone asks you for advice, information or help, don’t hesitate to give it. Remember … what goes around, comes around. You were afforded the same courtesies and help when you were starting out. Now its your turn to give that gift of time to another fledgling author.
22 Responses to “The Gift of Giving”
When I was first writing, Vicky Hinshaw read my first pages. She first complimented me on my voice, then gave me an advice on scene setting and mentioned getting books on writing from the library. I was so green I never thought of looking at books on writing fiction.
I’ve never forgotten how much it meant and I do pay back. This last week I helped someone with her query letter, and I’m signed up for judging three contests this year.
I think it’s always best to perpetuate good karma and hope that one day I can give back in order to continue the cycle.
And I’m with you on trimming back advice giving to those who ask for it, yet, ignore it. I guess we all have people like that in our lives, such as our kids who ask, “What should I do?” and when you tell them they get all huffy because it’s not what they wanted to hear. My kid is a HUGE huffer, and now when she asks for advice I just say, “Well, what do YOU want to do?”
Great post, Liz! I’ve found other writers to be so amazingly supportive, and I love being a part of this great community! I love romance writers!
Great about Vicky Hinshaw. Love it that she took the time to give advice and that you took it. When you think about it, as a newbie you’d be foolish to ignore good advice. Extra nice that she had nice things to say about your voice. Now THAT’S encouragement.
I like that, Kath … good karma. Yep, gotta generate a lot of good karma because it will come back to bite you in the butt sooner or later. I know of a couple of nasty authors who I’d never have anything to do with and certainly would never buy their books.
I hear ya on advice to kids. My daugter is at the age where she’s rolling her eyes when I actually give her things to do. You’re right. It’s not what they want to hear. They want to you drop everything and entertain them. Ain’t gonna happen.
I’m with you, Cyn. I remember … years ago, I read Laurie McBain and admired her work so much that I actually wrote my very first fan letter (this was waaaaay before internet). I was so shocked when I got a response. Loved it and I still have that letter.
Hey Liz, great reminder for all of us, and so true!
Way back in the day, I met an author at a conference; one that I’d read and admired. She had a few published books under her belt, and we hit it right off and started corresponding. I learned much from her, and fondly remember that stage of my writing life.
Like you, I try and pass on whatever I can. Since I’m always learning, I really appreciate our special community of writers. And it helps to have a bull-sh…t detector too. Helps with the weeding process you spoke of.
And holy smokes, I loved Laurie McBain too! I gotta see that letter…maybe at conference one day.
Clearing throat veeeeerrrrry loudly. Um, didn’t someone here final in the Romantic Times best of category this year? And would that someone who is much too modest like to share her most freakin’ exciting news with us????
Oh, and as far as helping hands? Maybe I was just at the wrong party, but I got nuttin’ from nobody when I started out in this biz. god forbid i asked anyone about their agent, they went running away screaming. even my local chapter was frosty, and not just toward me but others as well. so, i took it upon myself to change the world. I became chapter prez for two years, started my first line contest and basically try to give back what i can without killing myself. i do say, no, more now then ever, but i still say yes a lot.
I’m seeing a trend here, LaD. There always seems to an author who “mentored” a newbie at some point in their life. I really don’t think I had someone like that, although I did come to know Christine Feehan rather well when I was first starting out (and she wasn’t quite as busy as she is now). She used to give me some pretty good advice.
After all these years, I know exactly where that letter is, LaD. I’ll have to dig it out. You gonna be in Orlando in April?
I scribbled all about it in my personal blog, Karin. You might want to add someone else who also finaled as … let’s see, what was it? Best erotic romantic suspense?
I remember you talking about that, Karin. Such a pity you had a bad experience. However, sounds like you became the “mentor” for others. Also sounds like you’ve turned your chapter around and made it into something it should have been in the first place. Kudos to you!
The way I see it, those who hoard their knowledge end up with a much smaller piece of the pie. Knowledge is everywhere, and it’s not like a determined person can’t or won’t get it anywhere. But when you share your knowledge you’ve gained a friend.
I figure those who benefit from any knowledge I gain and share, are my colleagues.
I love giving back to others, especially if I have it to give. It’s so easy to get jaded *raising hand* when things aren’t going our way. But that kind of thing just drags you down even more. So, I like to help where it’s in my power to help and certainly encourage others along.
Definitely congrats to Liz and Karin on their RT best in category nominations! Woohoo
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I really began to feel the love when I joined RWA and my crit group. Everything good in my writing life seems to have sprung from there, and my crit group is still going strong for me and everyone in it.
I try to do what I can helping on the web side, and contest judging (although I can only do electronic subs), and crits. I think writers who extend a helping hand are classy pros and I will definitely follow their example when I get published.
Excellent points, Zoe. Couldn’t have said it better.
Its also a nice feeling being able to impart knowledge that you’d gained over the years, Marcia. You also know (or hope) that one day the person you’re helping will be in a position to help another newbie starting out.
Thing I found with talking to sci fi writers is that they tend to be a jealous bunch, keeping to themselves, afraid to share. At one of our WisRWA conferences we had a couple of sci fi writers attend that they were amazed at the interaction and commarardiary (spelling?) between the romance writers. They couldn’t get over it.
Thanx, Michelle. I thought it was quite an honor to be nominated.
Yep, there are so many opportunities when you join RWA and you’re put in touch with authors. People you’ve read and admired. And now you’re part of it.
I’ve learned so much being part of a crit group. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be published if it hadn’t been for you guys.
I can believe it, Liz. I’ve met people like that in other writing circles and needless to say, I’m glad I can’t remember them. The last thing I want is someone sucking the joy out of my writing, so I make it a point to put some joy in someone else’s.
I just cannot imagine not having that close interaction that romance writers have with one another. That would totally suck the joy outta writing for me. The contact is keeps me going have the time. If not at conferences, then one blogs and over the internet. What more can you want?