Not too long ago, I stood in the post office line and had the pleasure of discussing books with the woman in front of me. This woman, who referred to herself as “a reader for the purpose of educational value,” wore the finest silk suit, her hair was perfect, and she was surrounded by an aura of sophistication. When I told her I wrote romance novels, she asked me a simple and direct question: If she chose to purchase my latest book, Divorced, Desperate and Deceived, what educational significance would she attain after reading my work of fiction?
Now, it took me a few minutes to answer, but I did come up with an impressive list:
• Always wear your seat belt—safety is a valuable lesson, don’t ya think?
• A toilet tank lid makes for a first-rate weapon—you never know when you’ll find yourself trapped in a bathroom, weaponless, and some hairy goon coming after you with a gun.
• Dead men make good listeners—they never interrupt ya, never try to one-up ya, and they never let go of one of those deep, disapproving sighs.
• Knock on the door of the Porta-Potty before entering—of course, if the guy visiting the john is wearing a hat that states, “Shit Happens and Then You Die,” I’d go find the nearest tree.
• Burying a body is hard work—I do not recommend you try this at home, but it’s significant need-to-know-information—aka, educational— to those in dire situations.
• Under the right circumstances, Pork-n-Beans can be a very sensual food—you’ll just have to read the book to understand that one.
They aren’t ashamed to lean on a man, as a matter of fact, they are quite content to find themselves wrapped in the arms of some good looking hero. They love having a man in their life, but they know their self-worth isn’t measured by the man taking up space on their bed and, hopefully, leaving a few wet spots on their mattress.
They love it when their men set out to protect them, but that doesn’t mean they can’t stand on their own two feet. Romance heroines are nobody’s doormat, so don’t even think about trying to leave a set of footprints here. They are strong and can open a can of whoop-ass on anyone who tries to cause them harm.
Romance heroines aren’t perfect, they make mistakes. But by golly, by the end of the book they are also willing to admit those errors and set out to make amends.
And when and if the shit hits the fan,(and it usually does in my romance novels) what do they do? Sure, they may have themselves a mini-whine. We all deserve mini-whines, but then if they need that fan to blow, they get themselves a pair of rubber gloves and Lysol and they start removing the shit. Because when a romance heroine has a goal, nothing is gonna get in her way.
Some romance heroines may hate their hair. They may wish they had more up top, and less on bottom, but they learn their self-worth isn’t measured by cup or pants sizes. Romance heroines come in all shapes and proportions.
You can bet your bottom dollar that she’s a little insecure. Being insecure is a woman’s right, but so is feeling sexy and beautiful. Which basically means, that somewhere during her story, she learns to let go of insecurities and go after what she wants and deserves. They also learn that feeling good on the inside is the first step to looking good on the outside.
Reading romance teaches us that life isn’t fair and happily ever afters don’t come easy. You gotta work for them. Some romance heroines get shot, get cheated on, dumped by ex-husbands, and accidentally get their names on someone’s hit list. They find dead guys in Porta-Potties, dead rats in Godiva chocolate containers, and find themselves offering tea to murderers, but they pull their big girl panties up and deal with it. Because giving up, don’t getcha nowhere.
But the biggest lesson romance novels offer us is that love is scary. It means putting your heart on the chopping block and never mind worrying about the ax, you’re just praying some half-starved dog doesn’t come back and snatch it up for a snack. But dad-blast it, even as scary and risky as love it, it’s worth it. Because at the end of this thing called life, it’s going to be love that’s going to matter.
And when I got through telling this woman all the educational value of romance novels, this reader-for-solely-educational purposes looked at me and asked where she could pick up my book. Yup, I think I might have snagged us another reader, guys.
So here’s to romance and to romance heroines, and today what I’d like you to tell me is what lessons have you learned from reading romance. One lucky person who leaves a comment will win an autographed copy of Divorced, Desperate and Deceived. So make sure you post and have a great Thanksgiving.
Also you should visit Killer Fiction on Tuesday for the next few weeks because I’m hosting contests there and other places. Also check out www.Dorchesterpub.com to read about my contest where you could win a whole basket of goodies.
And thank you, Edie, for inviting me to Magical Musing.
~CC
Christie Craig
http://www.christie-craig.com
Good morning Christie,
I love this. I can see that woman staring you down assuming you could provide her with one example and yet you managed to give her several. I applaud you and send you a big yee-haw!
A heroine will learn to value herself after she has taken the time to discover who she truly is.
She will learn to become uninhibited in bed but only after finding that right man, the only man for her.
She will learn that when her hair turns several different shades of orange from a dye job gone bad that she is still sexy as hell as a funky carrot top who can rock a scarf and/or a hat like no one’s business.
Have a great day!
Hi Elle,
Love the lessons you point it. And so true. Our heroines are amazing women.
Thanks for stopping in.
CC
Christie, thank you for your BRILLIANT post! I’m going to run out and buy your book this weekend. A toilet tank lid as a weapon — that’s genius! Do you laugh out loud as you write these scenes? I’m laughing just thinking about it.
Christie, I so wish I could have witnessed your moment in the post office. What a fabulous sales pitch for romance! You could teach advertisers a few things. I’ve been anxiously awaiting your upcoming book, now I’m even more excited to read it. Great post, as always.
Christie, thanks for the morning laugh! A great way to start the day.
So great having you at Magical too.
So many lessons we learn from great fiction. Guess my contribution would be that everyone deserves love; of self and from others. How we all get there is the heart of it all.
Much continued success too! Like Edie, I’ve gotta check your books out.
Christie,
As always, I love reading what you write, even in blogs. Kudos!
May I point out another life lesson I have learned, that you portray in your books? Life is not worth living without pets.
Love how you point out that a heroine can stand on her own two feet but still loves being protected.
I can’t wait to get my hands on your latest! Have a great day!
Christie, Edie told me you were blogging here today and she gave a great sales pitch for you and your books. After reading your post, now I definitely want to read your books. I’ve been reading a lot of sales and marketing books for entrepreneurs lately, applying all I’m learning to authors, and you’ve given me another sales situation I need to prep for. Great answers! Thanks for sharing.
Ann Charles
http://www.anncharles.com
Hi Edie,
Thanks so much girl for having me. And to answer your question, yes I do laugh when I write these scenes. I’ve always figured if I don’t laugh, no one else will. That said, I know my sense of humor is sometimes a little warped, it comes from a homelife of craziness.
Thanks,
CC
Jamie,
Thanks so much girl I love defending romance. Amazingly, the woman was really interested in what I had to say. So it wasn’t a hard sell. Howver, it amazes me how some people look down on it and yet love is for so many people the meaning of life.
Thanks for posting.
LaDonna,
Thank you for having me here. I have a tiny problem, I’m addicted to guest blogging. LOL. They are such a great way to share your voice and stories with readers.
And I love your lesson girl. Everyone deserves to feel loved and cherished. And that trip into love, when fall smackdab into love is always a great adventure.
CC
Hi Katherine,
It’s so good to see you here! Yup, those little creatures offer us so much. And in Deceived, I’ve given this little pup some flaws and my hero has a hard time dealing with him, but as down deep he loves the little guy as much as my heroine.
Thanks for coming by.
CC
Romance stories usually let me know that my life isn’t really as shitty as I think it is. That there’s always someone else who’s life is a heck of a lot worse than mine. Helps me keep my chin up.
Oh yeah, and finding out that love conqers all doesn’t hurt either.
Ann,
I’m tickled that I offered you a new pitch. Go help authors make the romance genre even bigger than it is already.
Thanks for stopping by.
CC
Christie!! Love, love, love your books–even before you were pubbed! (I was privledged to judge Christie’s stories in a couple of RWA contests) I love your answers to the lady in line–you need to be romance’s ambassador to the rest of the world.
Wow, I love the blog and the comments, but what to add?
Ann C.
Isn’t that the truth about learning that you don’t have it all that bad. I love it when people tell me, “Oh, if I could only be one of your heroines.” I always ask them, “Have you read my books? Because my heroines don’t live on Easy Street.”
Thanks for stopping in.
CC
Hi Margaret!
You have no idea how much those positive comments from judges meant to me back then. And I so appreciate you actually coming up to me and telling me this at a conference. You are so wonderful.
Thanks a mil, girl.
CC
oh, wow! What a great blog, Christie. Like Margaret I read you when you were unpubbed and thought, Omygosh, can’t wait till she’s out there. And now you are! Good luck on Divorced, Desperate and Deceived, and excellent advice on the Toilet tank lid!
Hi Donnell!
Thank you so much. As most of us know, writing can be one tough business and entering those contests, even when I didn’t final, but when I got some positive remark from another writer, well, it kept me motivated.
And yeah, that toliet tank lid is deadly.
Thanks for popping in.
CC
Hey, Christie. No need to enter me. I’m dropping in to say you’ve done it again. Another great and funny post. I’ve got this up at Win a Book for you.
I can vouch for this book. Joey, the bodyguard-turned-hitman, is freakin’ hysterical!
(Okay, Christie, it’s the last time I’ll say Joey needs his own book. I promise.)
OMG!!! Laughing ass off at your reply. Well done.
Hi Susan G.
Thanks so much. For writers who don’t about Susan and her wonderful site, you need too. She will post your contests and she’s a delight to work with.
CC
Suzan H.
You said you wouldn’t say that again last time!! What can I say, Suzan fell in love with the big guy Joey when she critiqued the book. I think it’s because she like her men extra tall. Her hubbyis like six five or six six.
Thanks Suzan!
ArkansasCyndi,
Thanks girl. I love giving someone something to smile about.
CC
congrats on the books and great reviews
love takes time and i love HEA whoo
Christie,
Great blog, girl, and good for you for telling that lady at the Post Office about the positives of romance novels.
Faye
KH,
Yup, love does take time. And I’m convinced HPA are the only way to go. I can not stand to invest my time into a book or story and have a terrible ending. I could watch the news if I wanted to deal with bad stuff.
Thanks so much for popping in.
CC
Hi Faye,
Thanks for popping in. But aren’t you supposed to be writing pages right now?
CC
Now I’m already a huge romance fan. A great hero who I don’t have to clean up after – now that’s sexy.
But I’m wondering where that lady got her “perfect” hair done???? Mine always looks like the back of a goat’s ass.
Fun post, Christie!!!
Me and you both, Phyllis. My hair never looks perfect. Yup, I love a man who knows his around a kitchen sink, and can hit the laundry basket every time.
Thanks for stopping in.
CC
Hiya Christie,
Can’t wait to read the new DD&D book. Great post!
Hi Joelle,
Thanks so much for stopping in today. I can’t wait to walk into a store and see the book on the shelf. It always is such a high.
CC
Hi and I wonder if you convinced the lady, lol.
I learn that a woman doesn’t have to be a door mat;
should be kind and gentle but also know how to protect herself; should love herself as she loves others; can be ‘lovable’ even if she isn’t a raving beauty and that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Love the premise of your book and would love to win it. Thanks.
Hi RobinL.
Thanks so much for stopping in. Love all your lessons, those are great one to read by and live by.
Thanks,
CC
Hey, Christie, great post. I have learned from romances that you don’t ever give up. Wink!
You don’t have to enter me in your contest. I already have your book. Grin.
Thanks so much for stopping in, Sandy!!
And for sure our heroines can’t be quitters!!
CC
I can’t even begin to list all the things I’ve learned from reading romance novels, so why don’t I just go with my favorite? Women are so much more powerful/have so much more to gain by embracing each other and sticking together than we ever will tearing each other down due to petty trivialities or jealousy. Oh – and while we like, even lurve men? They totally need us, whether they realize it or not.
Oh they so need us, Catie!!!
Thanks so much for stopping in.
CC
what i learn from reading romance, is You have to believe your self and be your self
please count me in !
Christie, thanks so much for guest blogging. It was LOL. I’ve learned a lot of things from romance novels. All of it useful. But my greatest pleasure is the escape it gives me. Like a mini-holiday.
Hi Christie. Sorry I’m chiming in so late on your post but I was off ‘puter all day yesterday and am first now getting a chance to read your post. First off, thanx for joining us here at MM and thanx for a butt kickin’ blog. Brilliant. It was hysterical.
I’m just hoping that more than that woman was listening to you at the post office. Kudos to you.
I’ve learned that a woman doesn’t have to be complete with a man in her life … but it can make things easier. IF you have the right man.
I’ve also learned that women should stand up for themselves more. So often I hear women saying “sorry” or “excuse me” when its completely unnecessary. Sure, don’t be rude, but by the same token, don’t feel like you have to apologize for anything.
Mariska,
Believing in yourself is huge. Often times it’s the lesson my heroines learn as they make their way through the chapters.
Thanks so much for stopping in.
CC
Michelle,
Oh yes, the escapism you get when reading and even when writing a romance is one of a kind. It was my pleasure blogging. You guys have a great bunch here.
CC
Hi Liz,
I had a blast guest blogging. Nothing beats visiting with like-minded people. And standing up for yourself is huge. As women we are always taught to be nice, to never “create a scene.” Ahh, but as writers we learn we have to create scenes and our characters can’t always be nice. It’s a real lesson all of us need to gain insight into.
Thanks again to everyone for inviting me. Please stop by and visit my other blogs when you can.
And I just got the link to my Dorchester Contest and feature. If you guys want another good laugh go read my blog about what it takes to be a Christie Craig character. There’s also a contest and you could win a very nice bath robe and a copy of my book.
http://www.dorchesterpub.com/Dorch/SpecialFeatures.cfm?Special_ID=2752.
CC
Congratulations to Jamie Kersten! Jamie, you won a copy of DIVORCED, DESPERATE AND DECEIVED! I know you’re going to love it!
Okay, I am late to the party… The story of my life! But I wanted to stop by and wave to a friend!! **Waves to Edie**
Sorry I am late, life has not been simple for me these days, lol!
But anywho… I just wanted to drop by and say HI!!!
Congrats to Jamie! Happy Reading! And I hope you all have a great weekend!
Cecile, waving back at you! Glad you stopped in.
Christie,
I’m a day late, but in case you are still checking in, I wanted to post. I had a day yesterday where I went from one crisis to the next. Today has been a bit better. When I life gets like this, I want to get away with a great cookie and one of your books.
Thank you for writing a blog that even read a day later lifted my spirits. You are a truly gifted woman. Not to mention a writer now firmly entrenched in my “must-buy-don’t-worry-about-reading-the-blurb” author list.
Ahh, Mary Jo,
You gave me the biggest smile and warm heart. Today has been my crazy day, and I needed that smile, so thank you sooo much!
I hope you grab a wonderful cookie and my book and it makes you as happy as you made me.
CC
Thanks to Christie and to Edie! I’m very excited about the book.