Guest blogger Natasha Fondren: Not In a Shy Way
April 1st, 2010 by Edie Ramer
Full-time writing is often the fairy-tale ending in a publishing story, so when Edie asked me to guest blog about my leap to full-time writing, my story-writing instincts immediately piped up, "But there’s no happy ending! There’s no big sale, no proof that I chose the right way! There’s no Inspiring Message!"
And that’s probably as it should be, because in a writing career, there is no "way:" there’s only "my way."
I planned each charted course -
Each careful step along the byway,
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
The fall-back option was never for me, as a pianist or a writer. Developing a fall-back skill takes too much time away from improving my craft, making it that much harder for me to succeed at my heart’s desire. When I take away the option to fail, it’s amazing how much easier it is to achieve my goals.
Edie was right on Sunday. I’m pretty type-A focused, so I was shocked when I realized I wanted to be a writer. It crept up on me: one day, I just suddenly realized I was writing thirty hours a week (while still teaching piano full-time). In fact, I’d given it so little consideration, that my best friend didn’t even know I was a writer!
It took three years, during which piano and writing fought for the primary focus of my life, before writing won. I combined that goal with one that Glenn and I have had for years: to live in an RV and travel full-time.
So I bought a little old pop-up camper, hooked it up to my Jeep, and hit the road.
Regrets? I’ve had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
I miss my pianos. I miss playing the piano. I miss the kids. I miss Borders being only a ten-minute drive away. I should’ve shopped for a better camper and made sure to get one that didn’t leak. I’ve managed to break every system in my camper (electric and propane), and the wind is trying to blow my roof off at this very moment.
Regrets, though? I don’t regret my leap at all. I wouldn’t take it back for the whole world.
People will often look at stories like mine—getting rid of all my stuff, living without TV or air conditioning or a house or a somewhat reliable income, living in a leaky little camper—and use the word “sacrifice.” But it’s truly not a sacrifice. I don’t feel like I’m sacrificing anything: I’m living my authentic life.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way.
The insecurity of the freelance lifestyle pushes me to get out there and scrabble up a living. Even though I consider myself a coward and a security freak, I’ve lived the freelance lifestyle all my life. I was lucky to get the one practical piano teacher in conservatory, who taught us that when we got out in the real world, we needed to build our own jobs, make our own niche, and create our own artistic life.
Along the same lines, Dean Wesley Smith has been writing a series on his blog called, "Killing the Sacred Cows of Publishing." In his latest installment, he pointed to Kirk Busiek’s path to writing success in the comic book world. It’s the same old story of perseverance, but it’s a story that’s always inspiring.
Making your own way is often about embracing the freelance attitude: having a keen eye for studying the market of opportunities out there and figuring out where and how you can slide in. It’s always looking for that little gap, that tiny opening you can leap through. In order to find it, you have to look where no one else is looking, do what no one else is doing.
To think I did all that,
And may I say, not in a shy way -
Oh no. Oh no, not me.
I did it my way.
Campground living isn’t exactly a hardship. A salt-water pool and a jacuzzi are fifty yards away in the clubhouse. There are people everywhere (mostly retired snowbirds), activities abound, and you’re never at a loss for conversation. (It can take an hour to walk to the bathroom and back, which is a writing challenge in itself.)
I’ve doubled my writing income in the last eight months, but it’s definitely not enough to call my mission a success. Ardeur, an anthology guest-edited by Laurell K. Hamilton on her Anita Blake series, comes out today with my essay in it. (Coincidentally, my essay is about Anita discovering and making peace with a different kind of lifestyle—one perfect for her.)
I wouldn’t trade my lifestyle for the world, not even when I wake up in the middle of a thunderstorm with my feet soaking in a puddle. I’m living the life I want to lead, and the greatest thing is that even if I don’t have a happy ending yet, I’m having a fairy-tale journey—doing it my way.
20 Responses to “Guest blogger Natasha Fondren: Not In a Shy Way”
When I take away the option to fail, it’s amazing how much easier it is to achieve my goals.
Making your own way is often about embracing the freelance attitude: having a keen eye for studying the market of opportunities out there and figuring out where and how you can slide in.
Natasha, thanks for writing such a fabulous blog for us. You’ve inspired me. I’m going to look for a way for me to slide in — not always in the conventional places. And now I have new quotes for my quote file.
To the Magical ladies: Best guest blogger yet (in my humblest of opinions).
Natasha, always stay on your road less traveled. If you don’t my blog hopping will become as boring as that road less traveled.
Cheers!
How did I not know about the anthology?? Congratulations!
Great article. I’m so bad at finding the openings, I just keep fruitlessly banging on the castle door with the rest of the mob.
Girlfriend, I love ya to pieces.
You know my door is always open if you guys are in North Carolina and want to kick back for a few days before hitting the road again.
Making your own way is often about embracing the freelance attitude: having a keen eye for studying the market of opportunities out there and figuring out where and how you can slide in. It’s always looking for that little gap, that tiny opening you can leap through. In order to find it, you have to look where no one else is looking, do what no one else is doing.
I LOVE it! With pieces of wisdom like this, I have no doubts that one of these days you’ll be quintupling your income, if not more. Better yet, start a new version of Eat, Pray, Love called Travel, Freelance, Salt-Water Pool.
In the mean time, stay on the road as long as you can and live that life you were made to live, hon. After all, that’s what happiness is all about.
Natasha, I still wanna call you Spy! lol I envy you your little trailer. While I love my humble cabin, I’d love to tweak the location somewhat. And living ones dream is what it’s all about! I’m looking forward to feeding my traveling soul one day too, girl!
Congrats to all the success you’ve discovered along the way, and for the ones to come. You’re a special gal!
Awww, thanks, Edie! You always inspire me, so I’m happy to return the favor for once!
*blushes* Thanks, Kath! I’ll try to keep the both of us entertained.
Thanks, Avery! That was definitely one of the hardest essays I’ve ever written, lol. I spend too much time in the mob, too!
Aw, Marcia, right back at you! Travel, Freelance, Salt-Water Pool… it has potential, I think! LOL! What a memoir that would be!
LaDonna, you can call me Spy! I miss being called Spy, isn’t that silly? If only I could drag a cabin behind me, it’d be my first choice, lol!
Tasha, this is so helpful, and inspiring and timely for me as well. Thank you for sharing your story!
Thanks, Monica! Awww. You rock!
Natasha, this is pure inspiration. Thank you. I think Marcia is right. With the attitude and dedication you have, you cannot help but succeed. Are you, by any chance, going to be in Nashville in July? I didn’t spend NEARLY enough talking to you in Dallas, and I’d love to hook up with you again.
Natasha, I gotta agree with with Kath. This has got to be one of the best blogs we’ve posted here on MM. Very inspiration. Thanx for joining us.
I love it that you took a toss of the dice and went for it. Yes, living in a camper can be a challenge … and one I would love to try some day. The whole concept can be a writer’s dream or nightmare. Depends what you’re determined to make of it. But I gotta agree, waterproof would be a huge plus.
If you’re ever in Wisconsin, c’mon by. You’re welcome to camp in our driveway and the toilet is only yards away.
Natasha that’s great!
I so echo so many things you’ve said here, like the things about leading your authentic life. It’s amazing how much crap you can weed out of your life when you stop to think about what is important to YOU and ignore all the crap that is important to “everybody else” and therefore “should” be important to you.
I also know what you mean about not being able to have a fallback position. I felt like such a failure when I was 25 because I’d had 33 jobs. I couldn’t work for other people and I’d lose interest in most businesses I started because everything was “so I could write.”
And yet… when I was doing the other stuff, I never had the energy leftover to write. So I finally had to give all that crap up in order to write.
I realize that not everyone can do that. I’m lucky in that my husband pays most of the bills so I’m free to pursue other things. But if I wasn’t, I couldn’t work full time “and” write. I would be sacrificing writing because I’m just not wired to be able to do both. I tried many times and it just doesn’t work for me. My entire creativity shuts down working for others.
Your lips to God’s ears, Michelle! I know, seriously! I won’t be in Nashville.
I would LOVE to go to New York, so if the financial gods rain on me, maybe then!
Aww, Liz, thanks! Magical Musings has always been the blog I want to grow up and be, someday.
Thanks! I hope I get up to Wisconsin some day, so I can visit with you and Edie! (Is LaDonna there, too?)
Zoe, it tickles me pink that you’ve had 33 jobs. It took me too long to weed out the shoulds, lol. I’m so glad you can make full-time writing work. When I do something else, it sucks up my creativity, too!
Natasha, I’d LOVE it if you could come to Milwaukee. We have a guest bedroom. And you’ll like my dogs.
LaDonna lives in Tennessee. If your camper had a sail you could visit Michelle in Australia.