Sounds like a book title, right? But for my purposes today it’s about the three year journey I’ve been on. See, today is the release day for my third young adult novel, When the Stars Go Blue and it’s a day that’s been more than three years in coming. It’s a story that’s as much about persistence and wanting something—knowing that you can’t give up—as it is about just the normal pride that comes with seeing my book in print. 
Back in April of 2007, I was riding pretty high. I was a dual-finalist in the Romance Writers of America RITA contest with my debut novel, Adiós to My Old Life, one of those finals being in the Best Contemporary Single Title Romance category, which believe me, stunned me as much as anyone else. My second book was due to come out in August and while my publisher had turned down the option on a third book, I was confident I’d be able to get something else relatively quickly. After all, I also wrote adult fiction as well as young adult, so I had a wealth of material. I was already published and I knew the importance of dedication and discipline and working to improve my craft. On top of all of that, my published work had been receiving some great reviews and recognition within the industry. Something good would come along. I just knew it. And then, something good did. An editor contacted me out of the blue. She’d read Adiós and had loved how I wrote about music—was I familiar with the opera Carmen and would I be interested in trying to rework it as a young adult novel?
Why, yes… yes, I would.
The deal fell into place in an almost unimaginably easy fashion and I was off and running. By the end of the summer I had a first draft completed and in to my new editor. I was confident in the story I’d created and awaited her revision letter eagerly, knowing that I could make whatever fixes were necessary—looking forward to her input so I could make the story even better.
By the beginning of the next year, I’d completed that first revision and was fairly certain I’d nailed everything she wanted. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out quite that way. She was working with several other editors and they all had input, so for months, we went back and forth, me, desperately trying to make the changes that would best serve the story, trying so hard to be a Good Author that there were times I even made changes that I didn’t completely agree with, simply because I wanted this to work so badly. I believed in this story that much. I’d be lying too, if I didn’t say there wasn’t a little bit of concern at the back of my mind, too. Remember how I said I also write adult fiction? Well, I had a manuscript I absolutely loved—that I’d spent the better part of five years on—making the rounds, and for too many reasons to go into right now, it wasn’t selling. And it was devastating me. I knew it was a risky manuscript, but surely someone would take a chance, right?
Wrong. This was at about the time the publishing industry and the entire economy were going belly up, so no one was taking risks on anything. And more terrifyingly, it seemed that my Carmen story—this manuscript I had such faith in—was also turning into a risky proposition. I started to get that sixth sense feeling about it at about the one year mark. By late summer of 2008, heading into the fifteenth month of work on the manuscript, I had a strong premonition that I was about to have my contract canceled.
October 2008 was quite possibly one of the worst months of my entire life. The contract on that book was canceled. The publisher pretty much hated this book I had poured so much of my heart and soul into. They said my lead character was too unlikable and the manuscript would require far too much work in order to make her redeemable. I was devastated— I didn’t think my lead, Soledad, was unlikable in the slightest. She was strong, sure, and extremely forthright. She was ambitious and unapologetic about it, but how did these things make her unlikable? If anything, I thought they were great qualities for a lead female in a young adult novel. Unfortunately, what I thought no longer mattered. They didn’t like it, they weren’t going to publish it.
Making matters worse, when I finally decided I wanted to rework the manuscript, take out the excess and the wrong choices that I’d acquiesced to, only to appease the publisher, my then-agent said something that stopped me cold. “I’ll want to give it a thorough line-edit because it’s in pretty rough shape.”
That was a statement that made me seriously doubt every decision I’d been making for more than a year—because how on earth could I have chosen an agent who would say something like that to an author who’d just spent more than a year on writing and revising a manuscript—four complete revisions, to be exact—and who’d seen her hard work repaid by having her contract canceled?
Talk about a gut check. I could have easily folded then. Just thrown my hands up in the air and been done with publishing as a business. After all, I’d been writing my entire life before publishing and I knew then, that I’d continue to write without the benefit of publishing. But would I be doing this story justice if I just up and caved? That original editor had thought this story had merit (and continued to do so, throughout the whole process—she just found herself in as difficult a position as I had, subject to the whims of her superiors).
And what it came down to is, I couldn’t leave it with anyone thinking Soledad was an unlikable character because I knew better. That’s what it boiled down to. I knew better. I knew my story and how it deserved to be told and by golly, I was going to make certain it was told the way I wanted. So I stood up, dusted myself off, and got to work. I reworked the manuscript into what I had wanted it to be. I took the best of the advice that original editor had given me and blended it with what my instincts told me to do. Then I found an agent who loved it every bit as much as I did. Who got it. Then she found me the perfect publishing house and the perfect editor.
In October of 2009, a year after receiving the devastating news that my contract had been canceled, I received The Call. Again. The manuscript I had renamed When the Stars Go Blue had sold. And here we are, November 23, 2010. Release day.
The early reviews have come in and while they’ve been absolutely lovely, the ones that have jumped out at me are the ones that call Soledad a “bold, feisty heroine,” that say all of my characters are “likable, even lovable.” Look at that—likable. And here’s the thing: I hadn’t changed a thing with respect to the core story and characters. Everything I changed was mostly the superfluous stuff, the frills and dressing. The book that’s coming out today is in great part very similar to the book that was turned away.
I knew better. And I had the desire, the ganas as we’d say in Spanish, to make sure this book found its proper home.
You have no idea how badly I wanted this.
Almost as much as I want people to buy the thing and justify my publisher’s faith in me. 
But in the spirit of the upcoming holiday season (and how on earth is it almost Thanksgiving?) I’m also very eager to give away a signed copy of Stars as well as a super special bonus: signed copies of the first two books in YA author Carrie Ryan’s fabulous zombie series, The Forest of Hands and Teeth and The Dead-Tossed Waves.
Holidays! Give books as gifts! Be that relative!
Just comment below.
Barb, your post brought tears to my eyes… To merely say “Congratulations!!!” about its release seems too tame somehow, so I hope you’ll understand the joy and delight I have for you on this wonderful day. (Even without the 50 exclamation marks I tend to add to such statements
.) I remember the night you won the RITA very well. It was the same night I won the GH, so we were in a picture or two together. It was such an exciting evening, but I know firsthand now all of the rollercoastery things that can happen in 3+ years in this industry… Thanks for sharing your story and for letting us celebrate with you the triumph of creative confidence and hard work over the heartbreak of rejection and the constancy of fear. You did it!
Oh my gosh, I totally remember you winning the GH when I won the RITA– in fact, I have a lovely photo of the two of us, clutching our awards, wearing our blue dresses. I have no idea why that tickled me so much– that we were both in blue, but I remember that very clearly.
We both did it, didn’t we?
Congrats to you !!
really love your post Barb !
hey do you know that ‘ganas’ means ‘Wild’ in my language ? (indonesian)
Thank you! And no, I did not know about about Indonesian, but now, I’ll never forget. Seems kind of apropos, actually, because you have to be a little wild and maybe just a little crazy to keep that sort of desire going.
(I’m just grateful it wasn’t something rude!
)
Barb, Marilyn put it better than I probably will. You had a book in your mind, and you held true to that book. Today, we get to share that book with you. And congratulations don’t seem like enough.
Like Marilyn, I remember the night you won that RITA. It was my first ever RWA conference, my first ever writers conference, come to that, and I was watching the proceedings with wide eyes. To me, everyone up there had ‘made’ it, but I now understand so much more about how things work.
Thank you for sharing your journey, it is inspiring and humbling.
Michelle, thank you so much! And thank you for being along for part of the journey– I’ve found after ten years in this industry that as gratifying as these victories are, they’re made all the more sweeter when you can share them with friends and colleagues.
An awesome, inspirational post. Thanks so much for sharing your heart-story with us. You truly are an inspiration!
Thanks so much, Berinn– as I said elsewhere, perhaps I’m a bit too honest, but I see nothing good in coming from holding back and pretending that all is good. I figure it has to help others, knowing that we’re all on this nutty roller coaster.
I love your story and since I’ve felt that way before and had similar experiences, I empathized as well. But the end result is fantastic and your story strengthens my persistence.
Thank you for sharing.
Thanks Mary Jo– all I can say is that the experience can really differ from person to person, but there are enough similarities that I think we can all relate to one another. And if we can do that, then we can all give each other much-needed boosts when necessary. Thanks for stopping by.
What a beautiful post. You just made me want your book more! Congratulations on publication.
Thanks so much, Jamie– It was tough to write, but I wouldn’t be giving this book its complete due if I didn’t tell the whole story, you know?
Glad you’ve got the ganas! Talent without persistence is nearly useless in publishing, so thank goodness you’ve got both. Happy launch day!!
Thanks, sweetie! Now, onward to YOUR launch!
Barb, your post touched my heart. Reading it, I felt your frustration, confusion and heartbreak. I’m so glad that this story had a happy ending. But it didn’t just happen. You made it happen with your belief in yourself and your persistence. I think you’re just as bold and feisty as your heroine!
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Thanks so much for sharing your story, Barb. Your persistence is inspiring!
Thanks, Susan. And you know, my husband, he says it’s as much my hating to “lost” and refusing to buckle under as it is persistence. I ask, “there’s a difference?”
Barb, I love this blog post. I remember when you won the RITA, I was so happy for you!
Aw, babe– thank you! I remember that was the year I finally got to meet you and thinking, “This is one exceedingly cool chick.”
And I was so right.
Thank you so much for sharing your incredible story, Barb. So many times I have thought of giving up on my YA ms, but stories like yours serve as a reminder to never give up and never give in. I’m so glad I stopped to read this blog today – timing is everything – you have no idea how much it has meant to me. So happy for you and wishing you many many sales!
As my darling friend, author Alyssa Day would say, “Never give up, never surrender!” (She’s a big Galaxy Quest fan.
)
Thank you for stopping by and for your well wishes.
Barb,
What an important tale you’ve shared. So many unpublished writers believe that selling will somehow make things different–easier, better, faster. Not so. The resiliency we learn in getting published the first time serves us throughout our careers. A little aside–it was also a relief to here of the rough spell you suffered in October 2008. I was also out on submission then with every expectation of making my first sale. It was *not* a good month in the publishing world. Thank goodness you persevered and brought your book to life anyway!!
Oh, girl, don’t I know it, with respect to the belief of selling being the be-all/end-all. My favorite response to that from unpubs is when they say I’m only saying stuff like that because I’m trying to make them give up. That I don’t want the competition.
*cue the hysterical laughter*
So glad you stuck out the rough patch too!
Amazing story–great post! Thanks for your honesty, Barb. I can’t wait to read the book!
Thanks, Melissa! And can’t wait to hear what you think. (Although it’s so nerve-wracking when it’s friends and peers reading.
)
Thanks goodness you had more faith in your manuscript then your agent. This isn’t an uncommon story. Especially now with the mid-list authors disappearing, like the dinosaurs. Congrats…You had faith in that story, that I think many authors might have just shoved it under the bed with the rest of “what might have beens.”
You know, even the “under the bed” manuscripts (and believe me, I have ‘em), I really feel as if they’ll have their time. Eventually. And the best thing about my wonderful, wonderful agent is she really believes so, too. What she’s very good at doing is reining in the impatience and frustration that sometimes overtakes me. (Thank goodness I am normally patient– this publishing gig, it ain’t for the faint of heart, you know?)
I truly enjoyed hearing about the journey of this book. I admire your stellar work ethic and the belief you held that you could achieve publication for this book.
You are an amazing author!
Aw, thanks Jodi– and you totally made me blush.
Wow, Barb, thanks for sharing this inspiring post. It sounds like you’re in a much better place today with people who support you, but what a painful experience to get there. Yay for not giving up on yourself and for trusting your instincts about the original story. Didn’t I see that you’re going to be signing books at Third Place Books soon? If so, I’ll totally try to make it.
Hey Laurie– I did mention I’m ridiculously stubborn, right? Right.
And I WILL be signing at Third Place– the Lake Forest Park location, on December 7th at 7PM. I’d totally love it if you could make it!
I appreciated hearing the details of your book’s journey.
And your personal journey.
How wonderful that you did not give up!
Bravo and congratulations, Barb! What an inspiring story.
*curtsies*
Thank you, ma’am. It has, as they say, been a helluva ride.
i love that you shared this. Congratulations!
Thank you, Rebecca– my pleasure~
OHMYGOD what a horrible story. I feel your pain. CONGRATULATIONS on your pub day – you have truly earned it. And may you sell tens of thousands of copies!
Thank you, Jeanine. I’d love to be able to say that I’ve moved past it, and for the most part, I have, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it hurt, just a little, every time I thought of it. But then again, feeling that little bit of hurt is a big part of what fuels my desire to succeed, so I’ll take it, if it keeps me on the right path.
Congratulations does not quite seem to cut it here. This is a triumph, and a well-deserved one. I had nearly the same experience with my second book, though my contract was not canceled (thank God) but many readers have trouble with my prickly, proud and definitely unreliable female narrator, though many more say how surprised they are that they sympathize with her. Am glad I stuck to my guns–and I’m glad I’m not the only one. Hope you sell buckets!
We rebels have to stick together.
I think what I’m most gratified by is that the very things that the publisher cited as reasons they didn’t think the book would work are the things that readers seem to be enjoying the most. Definitely an important lesson in “the publisher doesn’t always know best.”
Such an inspiring story. It’s crazy what we sometimes go through in this business.
And you know the extent of that craziness as well as anyone else, my friend, since you’ve had quite the ride yourself. I’m so, so happy for you, too!
reading this really makes me want your book! fantastic.
please enter me into your contest! 
Thank you and done!
Barb, like others have said, your story brought tears to my eyes. I’ve known about your struggle with this one since it started, but it really strikes a chord now that I am at a hard place in my own writing journey. You are a huge inspiration to me and I am going to re-read this whenever times are tough. Kudos to you for working so hard to get a story that you loved out there and I can’t wait to read it. CONGRATS!
Aw sweetie, this road is hard enough to travel alone, no matter how independent and/or introverted we might be. It’s always important to know there are others who’ve not only experienced similar struggles, but who are willing to help prop you up during those rough times. You’ve always been an encouraging voice and likewise, I’ll always be there for you.
Thank you for writing feisty (and I am guessing independent) female leads in YA stories like this. I have not read it yet, but I am sure I will agree with that statement after reading it if the story has any similarity to the strong female characters in the Carrie Ryan books. (I know shocking that “Zombie Joe” would know the Carrie Ryan books, right?)
Heh– definitely quite an independent lead. Stylistically, Carrie and I are different (and I do love how she writes), but I’d like to think that yeah, we both come from the strong female lead school.
Thanks for stopping by (and no, someone named “Zombie Joe” liking Carrie’s books doesn’t come as much of a surprise.
)
I’m glad your persistence paid off – inspiring story!
Thank you!
Thank you so much!
What an inspiring post! I love that you believed in your story and you stayed true to yourself. Congratulations on your release–I hope you are celebrating!
There has been much celebrating– especially with PIE! (The benefits of having released during Thanksgiving week– I don’t have to feel guilty about the pie.)
Wow. That is such a powerful and inspiring story. I deeply applaud your dedication and determination, and when I finally finish editing my novels and head out to sell, I will forever keep you in my mind. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you, Brenna and best of luck with your work!
Wow. As someone just trying now to begin a writing career, your story threw me a bit. Does this happen a lot? I know that if I want to be published I’ll be making concessions and revisions, but that seems a bit harsh!
So glad your story has a happy ending and that you found the right agent who understood your vision!
The thing about publishing is that the journey is as different and unique as the individual undertaking it. There is no “formula” or “right” way to do things. The best you can do is be as professional as possible while navigating the mine field. And yeah, mine field is an apt metaphor because you just never know what’s going to blow up.
It’s not a pursuit for the faint of heart, but at the same time, can be immensely gratifying.
Congratulations just doesn’t cut it but here it is Congratulations!! I am so glad you persevered and believed not only in yourself but in your work. Happy release day and best wishes going forth into 2011.
Thank you, Karen– your well wishes are SO appreciated.
Yay!!!! Congratulations!!!!
And yay and congratulation back atcha, because according to Random.org, the number 31 is the winning number in the draw for the signed books and number 31 is YOU! Contact me at barbaracaridadferrer@gmail.com and we’ll arrange for me to get the books out to you.
OMG! I didn’t realize the journey to publication on this book was so hard. Thank goodness you hung in there and fought so hard to give Soledad her voice. Congratulations!
Gracias, prima– it was a hell of a road to travel, that’s for sure and I’m not certain I’d wish it on even my worst enemy. But it makes me that much more grateful that Soledad finally has her voice.
Congrats on your new release! What a great story about perseverance paying off!
Thank you for the congrats and thanks for stopping by.
What an awesome post, Barb. Thanx for sharing. I think they have your photo next to the word “perseverence” in the dictionary.
Congrats on your release day!
Heh– if they do, I hope it’s a flattering shot and not one of the ones where I’m yanking out my hair.
So excited to finally have a new book of yours to read! I know I’m not the only one who’s been waiting impatiently for it for quite some time.
WOOOOT! It’s finally here!!
I can’t wait to hear what you think of it.
What a magnificent, inspiring post, Barb! I had quite a lot of admiration for you as a writer before, and even more now. Lucky me, you moved to my city. Hooray! Let’s have coffee after snowpocalypse is over, ok?
Thank you, babe– and lucky me, I moved to your city. It’s just the best place with the best people. Definitely coffee after snowpocalypse is over– and that also reminds me, I owe you an RSVP because you have a Very Special Party coming up.
Barb, YES, YES, YES! I love this blog and the heartfelt words that conveyed your story. These three lines are what slammed me in the solar plexus with so much truth ringing through them, I found myself nodding… “And here’s the thing: I hadn’t changed a thing with respect to the core story and characters. Everything I changed was mostly the superfluous stuff, the frills and dressing. The book that’s coming out today is in great part very similar to the book that was turned away.” You fought the creative fight and won! I’m so very proud of you, and I’m celebrating your gift to the world. This is one novel I’m reading. A novel that carries the heart of an author is priceless!
And that cover is amazing!
Thank you so much, LaDonna– your words they truly humble me. This book it means so much to me (as all my books do, but perhaps this is a special favorite because of what it went through).
And yes, that cover is something special. When I first saw it, I made noises that set dogs in Australia to howling.
Barb, so glad you stuck it out, and I can’t wait to read this book. It sounds amazing. Good for you believing in the story and the characters and not giving up. You are an inspiration.
Thank you, Phyllis. I really appreciate it.
Further proof that publishing a book is as much about persistence and passion as it is about talent
Ain’t that the truth? Luckily, I have the persistence and passion in abundance–
~B.
It’s not enough to have the vision–sometimes you have to dig in and lay the groundwork to get there. Congratulations to you, and YAY for being bold with your work! I cannot wait to take a read
Thanks so much, Kendall– I do hope you enjoy the book!
Congratulations on sticking to your guns and giving the book of your heart a chance to shine. Many would have folded and I’m glad you didn’t.
It’s so hard to please everyone these days. We sometimes lose sight of our original song when so much noise surrounds it. May your new book grow.
Thank you Sandra, for such lovely, lovely words. I especially love We sometimes lose sight of our original song when so much noise surrounds it. because honestly, truer words… It’s such a wonderful sentiment and one to keep close to heart.
I’m so glad you didn’t give up on this book as it sounds amazing. It’s definitely a lesson for me to acknowledge good feedback and my gut feelings. I’ve added it to my Goodreads and will order it tomorrow. I can’t wait to read it.
Thank you, Helen– and I’d love to know what you think when you finally get the opportunity to read it.
We are so proud of you! Your hard work and persistence will surely bring continued success. Being true to yourself will bring good things not only in writing but in life. Go for it! Love, Dad and Mom P.
Aw, thanks, Mom. You know I couldn’t do it without everyone’s support– it means the world to me. You guys don’t let me give up, even when it would be easy. (Especially that guy I happen to be married to– he’s kind of nice. I think I’ll keep him.)
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Great giveaway! I’ love to be entered.
Please coun tme in. Thanks.
avalonne83 [at] yahoo [dot] it
Thanks for stopping by and DONE!
You go, girl. I love that you knew the story so well and I’m glad the original publishing house cancelled the contract, because having a house and an editor who love the book as much as you is the bomb. You and your story will have much better success.
Congratulations!
Aw, thanks, Misty! And you’re so right– hard as it was to have the book cancelled by the original house, it was for the best because now it’s with the right house.
Congratulations! I’m a teenager in the middle of writing my first novel, and this post was so great. It illuminated the mystic, secretive world of publishing to me. Thank you so much for posting this, and your books just found their ways onto my Christmas list.
Katie, you stick with it girl. It’s not an easy industry and you’re right– it’s too often shrouded in a lot of mystery and misinformation so if I managed to illuminate a little for you, then I’m pleased. There are a lot of great organizations that can help you along the road to publication (momentary pimpage of Romance Writers of America as being a great organization for preparing authors for the business side of the industry).
But the thing you can do that will help you the most is write. Just keep writing and I hope to see your name on a book cover in the future.
That’s such an inspiring post! So sweet!
Wishing you all the best!
You can reach me at luvpinkpanther@gmail.com
Thanks, pink panther! Appreciate you stopping by.
My dear girl, I am *so* proud of you. We “met” right about the time all that horrible-ness was barreling down the pipe. I’m ecstatic to see the result of your hard work and belief. The only thing that dims my Thanksgiving experience today is that my copy of STARS hasn’t arrived yet. What? No deliveries today? *grumble*
I wish you gazillions of sales and many happy dances of joy. Love love love — Carrie
Aw, babe, you know you are the butter on my biscuit (and wouldn’t Vicki Dahl have a field day with THAT comment?
). Your friendship has been an absolute gift to me the last few years and I’m forever grateful.
Love you back,
~B.