If you follow my blog you know that a few months ago we lost our dog, then a month later, our cat. We went from three animals to one. Our poor cat cookie (who is only a little over a year old) was certainly confused by the sudden disappearance of his friends. To add to his loneliness, we were gone most of the summer. So I knew when we returned from our last trip we had to find Cookie a friend.
There are millions of cats out there so I figured we’d have no problem finding one. Yeah, not so much. We drove all over Saturday looking for the right cat. Of the hundreds of cats we saw, every single one was right for my son, who cried every time we left a shelter. But this was going to be “my” cat and for some reason I wasn’t bonding with any. At the last shelter the woman who ran it was very persuasive, trying to get me to hold the cats and take one home. There were times when I wavered, but in the end we walked away without one. By the time I left I was exhausted by her pleasant pushiness and had no idea what I was looking for.
This got me thinking about how many times we are bombarded and exhausted by people trying to push us to go the right way, and by right way, I mean their way.
About seven years ago I wanted to write a vampire book but everyone told me it would never sell. Vampires were out.
Hello, Twilight.
I’m actually going to start on a vampire YA soon and who knows, maybe I’m too late to catch that boat, but you know what… I don’t care. As an author we have to write the book that calls to us, no matter what anyone else says.
But not everyone thinks that way. There have been many authors who have written a certain book or have written in a certain way because they felt like it would sell, not necessarily because they wanted to write it. Even I have been pushed toward writing a certain way, and guess what…those books that aren’t authentically me are the books that have the worst reviews.
Self-publishing is another area in which instinctively I wanted to dive in but many, many people told me not to. In the end I went with my gut and I’m so glad I did! I actually have the career I’ve always dreamt of.
So what’s the best thing to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed by everyone’s opinion? Perhaps it’s time to take a step back as I did with the cats. Leave, get away from the person trying to force you into their beliefs 
and take a day to yourself; a day to clear the thought
s of others from your head.
And by the way, we did get our cat. She’s a three month old black kitty named Lizzie and she’s super hyper and feisty. She definitely won’t take any crap from our big bully male, Cookie. In fact, I think they’ll do quite well together.
I love the name Lizzie, and she looks so cute. I’m glad you wrote this because it gives me a chance to relive the moment we picked our sweetie. We knew she was perfect, but we still took a day to think about it. Then we rushed over the next day, worried that someone else might’ve picked her. lol
Vamps are still hot, that’s for sure. If that’s what you want to write, go for it! I’m rooting for you. As for my stories, I don’t usually ask people about whether they think my ideas will work. My CPs are supportive of me and they don’t question that. I don’t think I’ve ever questioned any of their choices, either.
When most of my friends would warn me away from a certain subject, it was usually becuase NY didn’t want them. So glad we have self publishing and we can write what we want!
Lori, sorry about the loss of your pets, but congrats on Lizzie. She’s adorable.
Sometimes I go with my gut and other times, I listen to logic instead. My gut can be be pretty risk-adverse, so if I always gave in to that, I’d never take a chance with anything new!
She is cute, but she’s def. a handful!!! I’ve never seen a kitten so unafraid!
I will eagerly look forward to your vampire YA!
Cynthia Eden`s last blog was …Newsletter Winners!!!
Thanks Cynthia!
Lori,
Your Lizzie looks so sweet! Congratulations on the new family member. And I think it’s smart and brave to forge your own path. I have always “colored outside the lines.” I’m the youngest of my siblings, and all of them offered advice when I was growing up. I was so stubborn, I was determined to tune them out and do things my way–even if it was the wrong way.
Amy Atwell`s last blog was …Villains We Love To Hate
How funny! I can just imagine you as a little girl refusing to follow the rules! lol. Hey, if we all colored inside the lines, I doubt most of us would be here and have the careers we have!
Lori,
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Congrats on your new kitty!! So cute
As far as listening to my own voice when others are trying to persuade me to do what they want…the thing that’s helped most is just to say I need to sleep on it. It’s hard for them to argue with that, and I usually know what I really need to do as soon as I’m away from the pushy source.
I’m going to have to use that next time, I need to sleep on it. You’re right, how can you argue with that? would be very hard to!
It’s a double-edged sword. I love getting opinions from others because it makes me feel more secure in my decisions, yet my gut reacts strongly for a reason. It’s like getting too much feedback on your novels. All you see is the bad and what can be changed, rather than what’s working. Great post!!
So true. It seems like whenever I ask my friends for advice they all say something different, which makes it very difficult for me! lol. So I usually tend to do what I had planned all along.
Lori, so glad you found just the right cat for you.
I also like to rather withdraw and regroup if I’m feeling pressured and don’t feel right about what I’m being pressured to do.
Thanks Michelle! Sometimes getting away is all you can do!