How Not to Kill Your Husband by Margery Scott (with Giveaway!)

Congratulations to Catherine Chant, the winner of CADE by Margery Scott!

A big welcome to Margery Scott, whose western romances are fast becoming favorites of readers. And thanks to Margery for sharing much needed marital advice!

Emmas-wish-smallI write romance novels, and in the last chapter, the hero and heroine always profess their love and commit to each other. But what happens after the I do’s?

My hubby and I celebrated our 46th wedding anniversary last week. That is a LONG time!! And considering even our closest friends didn’t think we’d last a year, it’s pretty remarkable. Now, people constantly ask us how we’ve managed to stay married for so long. Our favorite response? “We’re both stubborn. Neither one of us was willing to admit defeat.” πŸ™‚

I read somewhere that a reporter asked a couple who’d been married 65 years how they’d stayed married. The woman replied, “We were born in a time when if something was broken, we would fix it. Not throw it away.”TTP-150x225-72dpi

Hubby and I were born in that time, too, and believe me, there were times when both of us were tempted to either get a divorce or commit murder πŸ™‚ Murder is easier and cheaper, but I don’t like orange jumpsuits πŸ™‚ So we stuck it out, fought it out, and fixed what was broken.

I thought I’d share five tips for staying together without killing each other.

1.People always say “Don’t go to bed mad.” That may work sometimes, but it might mean losing a lot of sleep while you hash out whatever the problem is. The thing is, often by morning, you’ll realize how silly the argument was in the first place. And daytime make-up sex can be a really fun way to spice up your lovemaking πŸ™‚

2. Do things together. Hubby and I don’t really enjoy doing most of the same things, but we compromise. I go out in the boat (okay, I do always have a book with me) and ooh and ahh over the fish he’s landed, I let him win at Scrabble, and I watch sports (again with a book πŸ™‚ ). He, on the other hand, wanders around historical sites with me while I research, goes to dances and parties with me, and socializes as much as his introverted self can manage.

3. Conversely, do things apart. Spending 24/7 with your spouse just isn’t healthy. You need to have your own interests, follow your own dreams, and have a your own life. And after a kazillion years of marriage and you know everything there is to know about your spouse, you’ll need something to talk about.

4. Pick your battles. Think about the things your partner does that are really irritating, and then think about how you’d feel if he wasn’t there. Sure, there might not be socks on the floor or crumbs on the counter, but I bet you’d be willing to trade anything just to have him back, bad habits and all.

5. Remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. Some days, that’s really hard to do, but it’ll get you through some of the tough times that are inevitable in any long-term relationship.

There are lots of other tips I could share, but these are a good start.

Those of you who are in a relationship, what’s your top tip for keeping it healthy and happy?

I’m giving away a digital copy of Cade’s story, the first book in the The Morgans of Rocky Ridge series of novellas, to a commenter.

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When revenge leads Cade Morgan to hold up a stagecoach and kidnap his childhood friend, Isabella Morrow, he discovers his feelings for her are stronger than ever. He suspects Bella feels the same way, so why is she intent on marrying another man? And what kind of future can he offer her now that he’s wanted by the law?

The Morgans of Rocky Ridge: Cade is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

To find out more about me and my books, visit my website and sign up for my newsletter, and follow me on Facebook and Twitter.

Thanks so much for inviting me today.

  1. Great tips, Margery! I’d add one – don’t forget to leave the kiddos at home sometimes. We have a little one and its hard to get a babysitter all the time, but it’s worth it! Because family time is awesome but couples need to keep that connection you were talking about by doing things together – and without the kiddos in tow.

  2. Great advice! Def. doing things together works for us! We love to travel and hike so that I can’t imagine doing those things with anyone else, I’m so used to him. And we both have our “jobs.” I hold the dog leash, he carries the backpack. You def get used to someone, but you also both change and grow and you need someone who can accept when you change and hopefully wants to grow with you.

  3. Welcome to MM, Margory. Your books are very popular and your advice is spot on. Great to have you here and best wishes for continued success!

  4. I love this, Margery. All your points are spot on and I would add a 6th. Have a sense of humor. Be willing to laugh at yourself, at your spouse and WITH your spouse. I swear my husband’s and my sense of humor have pulled us through many a stupid argument.

    And congrats on your 46 years together.
    Sharon Cullen`s last blog was …Sink Traps and Teenage Elephants

  5. Margery Scott is one of my fave Western Romance authors. I loved the helpful tips especially #1 and #5. Wow you have been married for 46 years that is certainly something in todays world. Keep the books coming πŸ™‚

  6. Welcome, Margery! And thanks for the advice. My husband and I are going on 24 years, so we’re a bit behind you. My best advice is never take each other for granted. Remembering the common niceties–please, thank you, I love you–and saying them out loud. Oh, and the bonus tip that it took us years to figure out? When one starts picking a fight, both should stop and eat something. We discovered that all our snarky fights were really about a drop in blood sugar. LOL
    Amy Atwell`s last blog was …Story Icons: The Protector

  7. Margery, Edie, and all,
    After 33 years I decided I just could not train my hubby. Why?
    He didn’t see our marriage as a partnership. My hubby didn’t see it that way. He was in charge.
    Mutual respect is important. Love each other as you are, and remember that change comes with age, so embrace it.
    DON’T ALWAYS APOLOGIZE! IT BECOMES A HABIT, EVEN WHEN YOU AREN’T WRONG AND YOU PARTNER WILL BEGIN TO EXPECT IT AND BELIEVE YOU ARE WRONG, EVEN WHEN YOU AREN’T. ONE OF MY BIG MISTAKES!
    Mary Marvella`s last blog was …Carousel DΓ©jΓ  Vu Launch and Booksigning!

    • Mary, to be honest, neither of us tends to apologize. We usually end up laughing (see Sharon’s comment). Even when I don’t like him momentarily, I still have the utmost respect for him, as he has for me.

      One piece of advice my mother and grandmother both gave me –
      start off the way you mean to end up.” I followed that advice. πŸ˜€
      Margery Scott`s last blog was …J is for John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt