Sounds exciting doesn’t it? 🙂 Yeah, you should know what’s coming! Cuz this wasn’t an idle question. It came from one of my kids friend who asked, “What’s it like to live with a writer??
Just think, it’s a glamorous lifestyle of the rich and famous. Big fancy house, fast cars and gorgeous partner on your arm. At least that’s the way it is in the movies. But this is real life and that is a whole different story.
So living with a writer from my kids’ perspective goes something like this (keep in mind, I’m a workaholic and my kids go from young adults to midteen):
- Going to bed at any hour and find the writer is already up and at it – or lost in thought at the end of the bed and not sure if it’s time to go to sleep or time to get up.
- Getting up at any hour and find same writer in same position.
- Arriving in the kitchen to find writer standing in the middle of the room, spoon in the air, going, “I’ve got it!” But there’s no sign that ‘it’ refers to the meal in progress. sigh.
- Parking at a store and exiting the van only to realize as you enter the store front that the writer is sitting half in and half out of the vehicle writing frantically on a scrap of paper they found on the street.
- Finding out the writer has a habit of picking up pens and paper from….everywhere!
- Having company over who is busy telling the gathering about some sad event and having the writer ask waaay too impertinent questions. “She had an affair did you say? Hmmm. Do you know if it was one guy or two – are you sure her partners were male?”
- Having the latest gruesome news reports pop up in your gchat or FB msg cause it’s … different. Yeah, this writer has files on the many ways to kill each other. And how wonderful to see the latest weirdest headlines before breakfast, or coffee, or starting a life on our own!
- Having to repeat information over and over and over….ad nauseam as the writers says she’s listening but so obviously is plotting the next serial killer book – yes we do wonder when she looks at us with that special gleam in her eye – are we next?
- Having the writer lose track of hours, days, weeks – all right who are we kidding – months at a time! Then stares at you in shock (make that horror) when you tell her how old she really is (add a few years for some extra laughs).
- Remembering to NOT tell her you have a date. No, you won’t get asked the usual questions about who with? Where are you going? When are you coming home? No. Be prepared for the questions you’d hope a parent would never ask and wished your writer parent hadn’t – questions such as:
- What’s the current thinking on rate on number of dates before having sex? I’m writing a New Adult book and really need to know. (Like what’s a New Adult. It’s hardly the same thing as a New Born??)
- Did you two hear about the woman who murdered her babies and buried in them in flower pots around the house? Isn’t that cool? (No – so not cool. By now the dates are inching to the front door – alone)
- Do you know how to hotwire a car? I have this couple stranded in this creepy little town with car trouble…
- Either of you know anything about poisons? This last said as the writer holds out coffee and cookies… and usually sends the date running. Unfortunately the writer is usually running right behind with pen and paper in hand shouting, “Wait, I really want to know…”
Sigh…the good things about having a writer in the house include never having trouble getting notes to explain why you didn’t go to school that day. Only you might have a little trouble keeping the over the top imagination toned down so the notes are someone what reasonable. There’s also a certain cachet to having a writer in the house. We all have friends/buddies who think the writer is awesome and can they have a bad guy named after them in one of the books. And that is usually followed by the proverbial…can I have the writer’s autograph in hushed whispers as the writers grabs a napkin and starts scribbling down the next best seller.
Yeah, the thing is…this writer is ours! Awesome!
Written with contributions from Christoph, Jason, Nick and Kara….writer’s in progress. 🙂
So what do you think? Is living with a writer something you’d like to do. And you writers out there – what are some of the bad habits your family has to live with?