So the other day my bff Sylvia Day and I were having one of our marathon phone convos, yanno the ones that begin with, “Hey, I only have a sec but wanted to check in,” but turns into one of those switching out three handsets because the batteries died convos.  Syl and I do not have quickies.  Anyhoo, we were talking about her remarkable recent release, BARED TO YOU, which she self pubbed and has hit the NYTimes best seller list two weeks in a row and the USA Today bestseller list two weeks in a row as well as countless other lists. (I’m sure it hit again this week!)

Her characters Gideon and Eva have issues.  Deep dark issues.  Instead of running away from them as they have all their lives, in BARED TO YOU, they have a connection that defies logic and they are willing to fight for it albeit with self-preserving flak jackets and grenade launchers.  It ain’t easy, but it’s what makes their relationship so special.

As we were talking, I mentioned a few other titles of Syl’s that really grabbed me from the beginning and didn’t let go.  Titles where years later I still remember the hero and heroine’s names!  They too had issues.  Big ones.

Of course in talking about Syl’s characters’ with issues, I naturally thought of mine, and it occurred to me that the stories I’ve written, the ones I love the most are the ones whose characters had severe issues.  My first book that really dove deep into them was JADED.  The second book was MASTER OF TORMENT, then along came Jax and Marcus in ENEMY LOVER. Marcus and Jax. What can I say? Those two will forever be my friends. Selena and Nikko in ENEMY MINE had their fair share of torment, and then, I wrote BLOODRIGHT.  Lucien is the poster child for angry alpha, but where there is an out of control wild fire there is a man who is so emotionally torn up he makes shredded wheat look whole.  I loved writing that story.  I still think of Luca and get goosebumps.

Here’s the thing about writing characters with deep seeded issues: as their storyteller we have to get it right. Do them justice.  They deserve us not f*cking up their story. They’re screwed up enough for crying out loud. Let’s not add insult to injury. And it has to be believable when they do something stupid or desperate. Because how many of us can honestly say that in the throes of love and passion our insecurities from our past haven’t triggered a response that tears us up inside?  How many of haven’t done something stupid and desperate in the name of love?

This is hard for me because I grew up in a Norman Rockwell painting.  While I have some things I need to work on, I didn’t suffer any childhood trauma.  No young adult trauma either.  All of my emotional trauma has come within the last 15 years of my life.  Some of it avoidable but some not. I wonder had these events occurred earlier in my life how I would be now?  I’m grateful really that when the shit hit the fan I was mature, fairly balanced, somewhat sane and objective when it came to dealing emotionally with these issues.  Have I come out unscathed?  Yes in that I have no lingering post trauma issues, and no in that losing two people in the last two years that I loved dearly and whose deaths have deeply affected people I love, saddens me to my marrow.  But it doesn’t have an effect on my life decisions.  Does that make sense?

Not only did I not grow up peppered with traumatic events, the people I grew up with didn’t either.  Not that I was aware of anyway.  So for me to write deeply scarred and flawed characters I have to dig deep.  But in today’s age, when everyone is talking about the good the bad and the ugly, openly and without shame, I don’t have to look too far to see people who struggle daily with pain and trust issues born of trauma suffered.

I also watch shows like Intervention and some of the rehab shows.  I have learned to understand that depression afflicts people I care deeply about.  I understand the cycles of addiction, of emotional and physical/sexual abuse.  No, not as if I had survived it, but as a person who has taken the time to understand it.  And who also has dear friends who as trusting children have suffered at the hands of deviant adult.  Dear friends who have trusted me enough to share their pain, confusion and their struggle to move past it.

Taking the time to understand what drives the people around me, and what triggers them has made me a better writer because no one is interested in reading one dimensional characters.  I mean even fairy tales have evil queens/stepmothers/wizards in them.  Life is not a picnic.

And while most of us read romance to escape the hardships of our own lives, reading vanilla Little Bunny Foo-Foo romps through the forest is pretty damn boring.

Falling in love is easy, staying in love is hard.

Life is gritty. Life is tough. Our character is defined not by how we react to adversity but how we kick its ass and move on to the next bitch.  It’s how I roll and how my characters roll.

And let me tell you, there is never a dull moment!  Not between the pages and not in my own life.

How about you?  Do you like edgy rough roads traveled to an HEA or do you like your romance smoother, less fraught with conflict and dark issues?

And it can be pretty hard from the get-go.

I won’t bore you with the litany of my “author mistakes.” I’ll just hit the highlights:

• Wrote romance books that had large casts and lots of POVs.
• Wrote comedies, suspenses, and historical sagas and couldn’t pick one as my focus.
• Never bothered to truly brand myself as an author
• Self-published a book for purely emotional reasons and had no marketing plan.
• Didn’t follow through on all requested submissions.
• Abandoned my personal website and blog.
• Separated myself from anyone who attempted to hold me accountable for writing.

What a list, right? Many writers are nodding sagely and thinking, “Poor Amy. She really IS a poster child.” A few might be looking over their shoulder and thinking, “Whew! For a minute there, I thought she might be describing me.” And for any who aspire to publish, print this list and do your best to avoid these pitfalls.

But for the readers out there, I need your help. I need some feedback because I fear that authors spend too much time talking with other authors, editors, agents, publishers, publicists and social media gurus. I’ve read dozens of blogs and even a few books on how to establish myself as Amy Atwell—published author, but at the end of the day what I want to know is this: As a reader, is an author’s brand important?

I ask because that abandoned website and blog of mine is next week’s project. Yep, I’m going to overhaul its design. (I’d like to say I’m being proactive, but the truth is that the software I use to build the site is no longer supported by its developer.) I’m preparing to release my first print edition of a book, and I’m actually putting some thought into marketing. And all of this is making take a hard look at how I describe myself as an author, both in words and through my website image.

So here are my questions, and I hope you’ll take time to answer one or two in the comments. Think of it as a focus group. In addition to my undying gratitude, I’ll also give one lucky, randomly selected commenter a $20 bookstore gift card.

1. Do you ever buy books based on recognizing the author’s name?
2. Do you visit authors’ websites? If so, do you visit their websites BEFORE or AFTER you buy their books?
3. What are you looking for on an author’s website? Info on the author, info on the books, extra tidbits, pictures or what?
4. Are there things on websites that turn you off?
5. Do you use any of those social media buttons or widgets on author websites? Do they encourage you to follow an author on Twitter or Facebook or Goodreads? Or are they just distractions?
6. Do you pay attention to author “branding?” (those little tag lines that authors use) If so, is there one you remember that you really love?
7. Does it bother you if an author writes stories that don’t all neatly fit under one brand?
8. Do you read author blogs? What interests you—stories that show behind the scenes of the books, slice of life stories, rants, reviews of other books or other things?
9. Do you ever sign up to receive author newsletters and, if so, why? What do you expect from these newsletters?
10. Have you ever contacted an author from their website?

If you want to see my current website in all its disarray, you can check it out at http://www.amyatwell.com. Don’t laugh, I haven’t blogged in nearly a year, and I’ve barely updated any of the pages. Feel free to tell me if there are things you like or hate about it. (Be honest—I can take it; I’m used to being edited!) I’m planning to implode the whole thing and redesign from scratch. With luck, I’ll be able to show you a whole new look when I’m back here in two weeks.

Is there an author website you think is really well-designed and easy to navigate and gives you all the information you want? (Yes, please give me names and/or URL addresses!)

I hope you’ll take the time to answer one or two of my questions. And if you’re a fellow author, remember to think like a reader when you answer! Leave your comment by end of day Wednesday, May 16th, to be entered in the random drawing for the $20 gift card.

That being said … I will admit that of all the titles in my life … wife, author, administrative assistant, chief bottle washer … being Mommy is the greatest title of all.  My little darlin’ is nearly thirteen years old and is certainly getting to that age where mom doesn’t have a clue.  Those of you with daughters know what I’m talking about.  The eye-roll when I say something perceived as dumb, the sighs, etc.  However, there comes a time when I hear a little voice call out “mommy” and I just melt.

Doesn’t matter what your age is.  There are times when I still call my mother “mommy” despite the fact I’m 50 years old and she’s in her 80s.  (Wonder if that makes her heart melt, too ).

I may not have given birth to my daughter.  We adopted her when she was ten months old, but I can faithfully say that she is the child of my heart.  I will be the first to admit that when I was handed this little bundle of squalling ten month old, that my first reaction wasn’t unconditional love.  I felt responsibility, determination, dedication … but not love.  That came later.  When I got to know her and she us.  After that connection was made, the love came.

Now?  I cannot conceive of a time that I’ll be without her.  Whether we’re a mother, a father, an aunt, a cousin … there is someone in your life that you love so much that you would do anything for them.  My friend, Sally is my daughter’s godmother.  While she has no children of her own, I know that she loves my daughter probably as much as I do.

As authors, we mostly write about relationships between a man and a woman.  The love that develops during the course of the story.  It’s probably a love that we’re most used to and what we know our readers want.  I’ve read books where the secondary story revolves around the relationship between a daughter and mother.  Depending what the story calls for, it can be humorous, touching, controversial … you name it.

With the hormones on the verge of blasting out of control, I’m well aware of what I’m in for during these next few years but I doubt I’m prepared for it.  So tell me about your relationship between yourself and your child?  Do you get along?  Are you at the ‘tween stage where your relationship is strained because of hormones?  Or are you beyond that angst?

Publication date: 14 May 2012
Publisher: Carina Press

Official Description:

Taken prisoner by a ruthless group of anarchists deep in the Cambodian jungle, anthropologist Jocelyn Hewitt is isolated in a dark prison cell. Without chance of rescue. Or hope. Until the man in the next cell reaches out to let her know she’s not as alone as she thinks.

CIA agent Oliver Shaw has been held prisoner for over two years. Forced to witness the brutal torture and slow murder of his entire team, his spirit is not just broken, it’s crushed. He no longer believes in hope. Until he hears Jocelyn through the wall, and suddenly feels like a glimpse of light is trying to reach in…

Jocelyn’s heart aches for the tortured man whose presence and voice give her the courage to risk their escape. But first she’ll have to remind Oliver who he once was, what he once loved, and bring him back to life. Only then will they have a chance for freedom—and the kind of love neither ever thought possible.

My Thoughts:

Edge of Light is a stand-out romantic thriller / suspense. The characters are very finely drawn, particularly Oliver Shaw, the reluctant hero of the novel. He is so closed off, so emotionally dead after two years of torture and abuse, and I thought the author did an astounding job portraying him, his fears, his thoughts and his little rituals and coping mechanisms. While Josie is less well-drawn, and at times seems to place too much on Oliver’s shoulders, or expect more of him than I thought fair given the past few years of his life – their interaction, and Josie’s optimism, slowly bring Oliver back to life, to a place where he is able to consider trying to break free of his prison.

That his prison is as much in his mind, behind the walls he’s erected to safeguard himself, and to avoid looking too closely at the things he’s had to do, the times he’s had to turn the other way to keep himself alive, was masterfully done by Justlin, and kept me glued to this story.

The villains, and the reason for Josie being in Cambodia in the first place, were secondary to me, but very well-crafted and well-paced.

If you enjoy action, great writing and a truly complex and believable hero, you won’t be disappointed in Edge of Light.

Reviewed by: Tara

Page Count: 352 pages
Publisher: Delacorte Press
Publication Date: August 14th, 2012

Official Description:

Miranda has Shakespeare in her blood; she hopes one day to become a Shakespearean actor like her famous parents. At least, she does until her disastrous performance in her school’s staging of The Taming of the Shrew. Humiliated, Miranda skips the opening night party. All she wants to do is hide.
Fellow cast member Stephen Langford has other plans for Miranda. When he steps out of the backstage shadows and asks her if she’d like to meet Shakespeare, Miranda thinks he’s a total nutcase. But before she can object, Stephen whisks her back to sixteenth century England—the world he’s really from. He wants Miranda to use her acting talents and modern-day charms on the young Will Shakespeare, who is showing alarming signs of taking a very different path in life. Without her help, Stephen claims, the world’s greatest plays will never be written.

Miranda isn’t convinced she’s the girl for the job. Why would Shakespeare care about her? And just who is this infuriating time traveler, Stephen Langford? Still, she reluctantly agrees to help. After all, Stephen promises that once Miranda’s part is played, he’ll return her to the present and she can get on with her “real” life. What Miranda doesn’t bargain for is finding true love…with no acting required.

My Thoughts:

Mingle aims to please Shakespeare lovers in her first novel. Kissing Shakespeare is a delightfully romantic and well researched historical fiction with a modern twist. I found myself quickly enamored with the setting and the language. Having been an avid reader of Shakespeare since high school, it was an exciting read for me. The added angle of having our heroine, Miranda, thrust back into time to actually meet the greatest writer of all time, is such an exciting and fresh concept.

This novel is ideal for anyone who is reluctant to read classics or historical fiction. The balance of Miranda’s modern ways and the meticulous detailing of 16th century England makes this an accessible story for teenagers who may be intimidated by taking on Shakespeare’s works.

And what would a novel involving the great William Shakespeare be without a little romance?! This story delivers in that department. There were definitely a few swoon-worthy moments and I was left wanting more! Would it be too much to ask for a sequel?

Reviewed by: Chelsea Cloud

Publisher: Ballantine Books
Publication date: 24th April 2012

Official description:

SOMETIMES WHAT YOU COVET IS IMPOSSIBLE TO KEEP.

For werewolf Natalya Stravinsky, the supernatural is nothing extraordinary. What does seem strange is that she’s stuck in her hometown of South Toms River, New Jersey, the outcast of her pack, selling antiques to finicky magical creatures. Restless and recovering from her split with gorgeous ex-boyfriend, Thorn, Nat finds comfort in an unusual place: her obsessively collected stash of holiday trinkets. But complications pile up faster than her ornaments when Thorn returns home–and the two discover that the spark between them remains intense.

Before Nat can sort out their relationship, she must face a more immediate and dangerous problem. Her pack is under attack from the savage Long Island werewolves–and Nat is their first target in a turf war. Toss in a handsome wizard vying for her affection, a therapy group for the anxious and enchanted, and the South Toms River pack leader ready to throw her to the wolves, and it’s enough to give anybody a panic attack. With the stakes as high as the full moon, Nat must summon all of her strength to save her pack and, ultimately, herself.

My thoughts:

When I first picked up the book, I thought – great another book about shifters. But I quickly changed my mind as I continued reading. I literally read this book from start to finish in one sitting.

Natalya Stravinsky is a werewoif suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder who works in an antique shop selling antiques to creatures of the magical world. She is content to do just that until her ex bofriend Thorn returns.

In many ways Thorn is a catalyst of change, when he left five years ago Natalya’s OCD worsened and she only found comfort in her collection of Christmas ornaments, and because of her OCD she was cast out of her pack. Thorn’s return seems to throw her life into chaos.

Now Natalya must seek out her old pack and try to regain her place in it, as a rival pack seems set upon ending her life. Throw in a support group for magical creatures (they have those?), a wizard who seems to have more that a friendly interest in her, and an ex-boyfriend who cannot let go and Coveted will keep you engaged until the very end.

It’s like the excitement of riding a rollercoster – thrilling and at the end you want to go again. With Coveted, when I got to end I wanted more, and am eagerly awaiting the next novel.

Reviewed by: Mei

Perhaps it’s because my books often straddle more than one literary genre or because I have varied reading tastes or just because I’ve railed against being categorized my whole life…but I wrestle with the issue of writing novels that are considered “entertaining” vs. “significant” all the time.

First of all, before I even attempt to define those terms, let me say that, yes, I do think it’s possible for a book to be BOTH entertaining AND significant, and I think some of the world’s greatest novels manage to do just that. (You can probably name several, and I hope you’ll put them in the comments section below. I’ll start the list rolling with my personal fave, Pride and Prejudice.  ) However, I also think most books fall more readily into one category or the other because that’s where the writer’s intention in creating it originated…and, to some extent, where the heart of the novel can be found.

By “entertaining” I mean an escapist, frequently faster-paced read. A story that values action, humor, thrills and romance for the delight these elements bring to readers. Genre-fiction stories — romances, mysteries, thrillers — are traditionally expected to be entertaining. By “significant” I mean a story with a larger societal/universal scope — one that deals with “issues” so that it’s not about one human’s behavior but, rather, about the behavior of humanity. Typically, this is expected of upmarket women’s fiction and literary works.

Sometimes I’ll read a book that’s been dubbed a “significant” novel, and I’ll recognize that it has entertaining PARTS — some scenes that are quickly paced, a sprinkling of humor, a memorable moment of sexual tension, an action sequence that leaves the reader breathless…but, mostly, I’m aware that we’re dealing with heavy issues and the language as imagery and the characters’ introspection. The latter of which, I’ve been told, kinda kills a book that’s supposed to be “entertaining.” (Introspection — I was informed – slows the pace, dilutes the intensity and urgency of the action, decimates the suspense. Can you hear me sighing? I happen to love introspection…) Or vice versa — I’ve read “entertaining” novels that slip in a few big social issues, but I’m aware that those issues were intended to be secondary to the main plot…they don’t dominate the story.

This has made me suspect that the job of an “entertaining” novel is to make the reader FORGET he/she is reading. We, as the readers, are compelled to continue turning pages because we’ve been drawn into this story world, led on a quest for something and, by identifying with the protagonist(s), we lose ourselves.

Whereas, I think with a “significant” novel, we’re constantly being brought back TO ourselves — FINDING ourselves, if you will — because the problems addressed by the characters are so relevant to our lives and the lives of those people we love that we can’t truly escape. We cry with the protagonist because…well, what if it were us with the malignant brain tumor? What if it were our husband who’d cheated? What if our parents were the ones who’d abandoned us? Or if we’d lost a child? Or if we were the poor or the betrayed? Significant books never let us forget that we, too, are on the precipe of potential disaster.

And this is a hard dichotomy for me to deal with when writing the kind of fiction I love.

It’s hard because many of the themes I’m passionately interested in exploring as an author — coming of age, self-actualization, a woman on a life-changing journey — can be written about very seriously through the use of secondary characters and the literary devices we rely upon to create the atmosphere of significance (often death plays an important role…as does loss, disenchantment, illness, grief, prejudice and/or injustice). Or, these stories can be given a lighter touch and exist in a world of comedy, satire, irony or even wild slapstick — but this will almost certainly lead to the story being trivialized and judged on the standard of how “entertaining” it is. And therein lies the problem…the line we have to walk…the balance we need to keep.

I envy the focus a writer can achieve when the intention of his/her novel is squarely in one camp or the other. I know of a popular author whose predominantly serious and very successful literary novel took her less than two months to write. I’m convinced she could do this (a) because she’s a very talented and experienced novelist and (b) because she wasn’t concerned with the expectations or demands of a fast-paced genre-style of book. Which isn’t to say there’s nothing entertaining in her story or that I think the pacing drags…just that she wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention to that while writing it. Her full focus seemed to be on those heart-wrenching, deeply emotional story themes and the use of gorgeously descriptive prose.

I’m generally not a fast writer, but I wrote the first draft of On Any Given Sundae in six weeks one summer. I revised for months afterward, but still… It was a drafting speed I’ve never been able to replicate since then, and I know it was because I was so singular in my purpose. That book, from its inception, was purely about entertainment. It was intended to be a quick and funny read. It was supposed to have steamy scenes and lots of snappy dialogue. And the premise (about an ex-football star and a dessert cookbook writer who run an ice cream shop together for the summer) is frothy and not exactly addressing big issues. (Although I tucked in a few moments of introspection because I just couldn’t help myself, LOL.)

But I was attempting to do something different with A Summer in Europe. To try to tap into a more universal side with that book (finding one’s form of creative expression, facing one’s fear of death…and life), which touches on some very human themes and, yet, I also wanted my treatment of them to be lighter and more comedic. I knew from the beginning that I was going to mix thsee threads, which left me questioning every paragraph as I wrote it: “Hey, is this passage deep enough? Oh, wait, is this funny enough?” It took me a long time to write that book.

So, what about you?! Are you consistent in your literary focus? Do you have a certain style of story you prefer to read or write — be it more genre or more upmarket — or are you sometimes conflicted, like me? What’s the fastest or longest time it ever took you to write the first draft of a book?

In honor of Mother’s Day this weekend, I’m giving away a signed trade paperback copy of my 2010 women’s fiction book, Friday Mornings at Nine, to one commenter. The novel is the story of three 40-something suburban moms who have to reevaluate their lives and determine how well their know their spouses, their friends and themselves. The winner will be selected randomly on the night of May 15th.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

UPDATE: Congrats to Amy Remus who won the copy of WORTH THE RISK and the $10 Amazon or B&N gift card! Robin will email you with your prize .

It’s such a pleasure to welcome my friend and fellow writer, Robin Bielman, to Magical Musings today!! Her debut novella, Worth the Risk (available on Amazon and B&N through Entangled Publishing) was just released at the end of April. I was thrilled when Robin agreed to be a guest here because I wanted her to share with us a few details about her fun new contemporary romance and, also, about her road to becoming a published writer.

A little bit about Robin: She lives in Southern California, a bike ride away from the ocean if she’s feeling really adventurous. She loves books and baking and running on the treadmill while watching her favorite TV shows. When she’s not reading or writing her next story, she’s spending time with her high school sweetheart husband and two sons, most likely watching, playing, or discussing baseball. She drives too fast, drinks too much caffeine, and if every day were Cupcake Day, she’d be a happy camper! She loves to connect with readers.

Take it away, Robin!!

~*~*~*~

Hello everyone! Thanks so much for having me as your guest today, Marilyn. I’m so happy to be here with you and the ladies of Magical Musings.

My debut novella, Worth the Risk, is about Sam and Dean (not the “Supernatural” TV show duo). They spent a summer together after college and now five years later, they’re face to face again vying for the same job.

Their love was ancient history…until their paths crossed again.

Samantha Bennett put Dean Malloy out of her mind five years ago, when he broke her heart after a summer fling. But now he’s back in her life, and ready to steal a heritage protection contract that could make or break her career–if he doesn’t steal her heart first. Samantha’s vowed to hate him, but it’s more than anger heating the competition between them.

With sparks flying across the conference table and sizzling in every touch, Dean proposes a weekend liaison. Anything to have Sam again; anything to get her out of his system. But the unresolved feelings between them complicate both their personal and professional lives, and one wild weekend could turn into a disaster that would destroy the one job that means more to Samantha than anything. For a shot at love…is it worth the risk?

I started writing novels a little over five years ago. Before that, I was a freelance writer, most recently writing about brides and weddings. When a colleague read one of my bride pieces she asked if I’d ever thought about writing a romance novel and if not, then I should. A little bell went off in my head (seriously!) and I knew that’s what I wanted to do. The romance and first kiss ~sigh~ is my favorite part of any book or TV show or movie, and I finally realized I wanted to focus on writing romantic fiction.

I got “the call” (which was an email before an actual phone conversation) for my novella just before Christmas and was so deliriously happy that I quickly asked my hubby to read the email. I needed him to confirm that I wasn’t seeing things, because I couldn’t believe it! After jumping up and down and squealing for I don’t know how long, I called my mom. She cried. After that, my phone conversation with Adrien-Luc Sanders (one of my awesome editors at Entangled Publishing) was beyond great, and I haven’t stopped smiling since.

A very dear friend of mine sent me a quote last year that said, “What the universe has planned for you is even better than what you can imagine.” There were so many days when I thought I’d give up, when I thought no one is ever going to like my writing enough. But even on those “I’m the worst” days, I read that quote and hung on to hope. I couldn’t imagine ever not writing, and reminded myself that I was lucky I got to do something every day that made me happy. Regardless of the end result, time spent writing was a gift. So if you love spending time with the characters in your head, don’t ever give up. Keep. Going.

Remember the first kiss thing I mentioned? Well, in my novella, Sam and Dean’s first kiss takes place five years before the novel opens. So I wanted their First Kiss after they meet up again to be really Something. It takes place in a bar and involves a hot sauce game. Here’s a quick peek…

He cupped her cheek and looked deep into her eyes. “One kiss, Sam. I dare you.”


Damn him. If she didn’t agree, he’d think he won something here, and she couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t let him beat her over a silly kiss. Especially if he thought his kiss would distract her from the reason she was in town.

“Fine. I’m game.”

Whistles and sighs echoed around their corner of the bar while Joe grabbed two bottles of hot sauce off the table. “The rules are”—he looked at Sam as he spoke—“time starts when I say go. Your lips must stay in contact. Tongue is optional. As soon as you part, time stops. Ready?”

With eyes stuck on each other, they nodded. Joe stood over them with a bottle of sauce in each hand and they simultaneously tilted their heads back to receive several drops on their tongues.

“Go!”

You can read my first two chapters here: http://www.entangledpublishing.com/worth-the-risk/

Thank you again Marilyn and the ladies of Magical Musings for having me today and letting me share my debut with your readers! I’d love to give away a $10 B&N or Amazon gift card (winner’s choice) AND a digital copy of Worth the Risk to one lucky commenter who answers this question: Where was your first kiss?

~*~*~*~

Robin, thanks so much for sharing this excerpt (hot sauce!!), for telling us about your publishing journey and for offering this great giveaway, too! The contest will run until May 14, 2012. Just leave a comment below and you’re entered. The name of one random person will be drawn on Monday evening and posted here by Tuesday. Good luck, everyone!

You can find out more about Robin online at www.robinbielman.com, on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/RobinBielmanWriter and on Twitter at http://twitter.com#!/RobinBielman and you can buy Worth the Risk at Amazon and B&N .

So I sent a text to my cousin (who works for Entertainment Weekly Magazine (I know, way cool!) and got to see the movie early), and asked if it would be okay for my son to see. Cursing and fighting are fine, but no intimacy. As I typed the words, I realized how ridiculous I sounded. Its okay if people are blown to pieces, but God forbid my son see a couple kissing?  

Of course my cousin caught it too and called me a “typical American!”

It’s true in America we are known to be confused prudes when it comes to sex. I grew up in a single-parent household and don’t remember my mother ever talking about intimacy. Yep, I learned by reading romances novels! And although some might cringe at the thought, I found them quite informative.

Let’s face it; we come from a puritanical culture. And I mean it… My family actually came from England and arrived in Massachusetts in the 1600s. And yes, they were puritans, and yes, they were part of those nasty witch trials. No wonder why deep down I’m a prude! It’s in my blood!

In the 1600s, sex (and often women) was considered evil; something that had to be done, but certainly shouldn’t be enjoyed. By the Victorian era thoughts about women had completely changed. Women were revered as the gateway to heaven. They were pure! They were the ones in charge of religion in the home. Meanwhile, men who had to go out into the workplace were gross and vile.

These ideas might seem silly now, but we can still find these mixed messages in our society even today. In Europe you can’t turn a corner without spotting a naked statue. Beaches are littered with the nude. T.V. and movies have no such qualms about showing naked actors. Sex is natural! But not in America! Nope, our naked statues are hidden away in museums and are something for school children to giggle over. When we do portray sex in the media, we make it something nasty; not normal and certainly not natural.  

Of course as writers of romance we have had to deal with the stigma of sex for decades. It is okay if people read about torture and blood and gore, but God forbid they read a book about two people falling in love! For decades romance novels have been considered porn or smut, something to be read in private. I read romance because of the romance and true love, so you can imagine (as a young teenager) how confused I was when I realized society thought these books shameful.

I’m curious, do you think its true that the typical American is confused about sex? If you’re from another country, I’d love to hear what your opinions are about Americans and our thoughts on sex.

P.S. Funny enough I didn’t read Edie’s post from yesterday until after writing this blog!  Great minds think alike

This made me laugh, yet at the same time it made me feel a little sad that this could offend anyone. Dr. Oz and other experts use the terms on their daytime TV shows, and unless the episode is just about sex, there’s not even a warning to keep children away. It’s not considered offensive, and shouldn’t be.

My second nudge happened because I was putting up an unedited excerpt for my upcoming book on my blog. In the excerpt, the main character catches her nearly naked husband with a completely naked woman. Though this scene isn’t steamy, I was concerned that I might have to post an 18-years-or-older content warning. All because I use real body part names to describe real body parts. (I dare anyone to think in euphemisms at a time like that!)

When my son was about 4 or 5, a small boy came to my house to tell me that my son used ‘the F word.’ I managed not to laugh – at least, not until the boy left. Later I told my son that it was just a word but some people were offended by it, so he shouldn’t use it. I can’t say that I never used it in front of my son, but my husband and I don’t make a habit of it. It’s the same thing with my books. Characters in my latest book haven’t used it a lot, but my hero in Dead People was a former rockstar and he said it often. As far as I know, no reviewer dinged me for it. It fit his character.

I recently read a book that mentioned the hero’s ‘loin’ and ‘groin.’ It was a contemporary romance, and as I read it, I thought that might be something I could use in my books. But the thing is, I write in deep 3rd person point of view, which means I’m in my characters’ minds. My characters don’t think the word ‘groin’ unless they have a sprain in theirs. They don’t think ‘loin’ unless they’re in the pork section at the grocery store.

I do see men in books thinking about their ‘cock,’ but I’ve gotta say that I don’t think most men I know use it. (Yes, I’ve asked, though not a large survey.) It could be a regional thing. I do use ‘erection’ in my books when it’s appropriate. I’ve had my characters give their penis a nickname, but that’s about it.

What about you? In fiction or real life, what words do you prefer?